Posted by iridium on October 22, 2002, at 14:01:05
I've been reading your board for awhile and I really appreciate all that you all have to say, and I've learned a lot.
I'm 29, and I've been on meds for most of my life. I've taken pretty much everything out there, too many to list here, but the SSRI's, Tricyclics, MAOIs, newer anti-depressants, mood stabilisers, anti-convulsants, opiates, anti-psychotics, benzos, amphetamines, you name it, I've probably taken it if it's available in the US, and I'm even on a drug now that's not available in the United States.
I'm on seven psychotropics now: neurontin, norco, sulpiride, valium, adderall, seroquel, and ambien. While some days my mood is tolerable at best, most of the time I feel very much like I wish I was dead. Opiates provide the only mild relief.
So, I guess my question is: is there really a point to being on all these meds if I don't really feel any better? I've been on all sorts of combinations, and I guess this is the best one, but it still seems like it's not worth it to me.
I should mention that I had a liver/kidney failure in June of this year so I feel somewhat wary of being on medication in general. We're still not sure what caused it, but at the time I was very suicidal and was taking a lot of vicodin, vicoprofen, valium, seroquel, and soma. I didn't actively overdose, but I was probably taking enough over a high period of time that it could have caused the failure. Like I said, we're really not very sure.
I think part of me is scared that off the meds is somehow worse - right now I keep a job, and I occasionally am able to go out with other people, and I live on my own. I suppose I'm afraid I'd lose that ability if I went off the meds.
Anyway, I guess I'm just wondering what other people do - do they just keep taking the meds even though they don't really feel better - there doesn't seem to be any left to ask for. Is is better to just go on my own without meds? I'm not even sure there really is an answer.
I'm sorry for such a long post. It's just really bothering me right now, and has been, and I feel like I'm in the dark here.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this.
poster:iridium
thread:124718
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021019/msgs/124718.html