Posted by bookgurl99 on September 10, 2002, at 23:37:03
In reply to Tired of illness, posted by Squiggles on September 9, 2002, at 10:24:52
Squiggles, I understand your frustration at being a medical mystery.
From what you've typed, I can see that you're a very intelligent, creative, gifted woman with some perplexing physical problems. (I've had similar experiences, btw -- I'm hypothyroid, have been overtreated myself, along with the intractible insomnia, and have also done the 'staying up to breathe for 4 hours' due to a drug reaction.)
Hypothyroidism alone caused me to feel antisocial when I was undertreated. I'm glad you finally found a good dosage for yourself; that is one hair-tearing experience. And I'll tell you, working at supporting myself from a physical angle -- esp. doing things that support my adrenal glands (giving up _all_ processed food and switching to veggies, fruit, and meat for example) has really helped me to better enjoy myself. (You prob'ly knew that sometimes having your thyroid treated further exhausts your adrenals, right? Because they were sort of underactive and underdeveloped when your thyroid was out of comission.) Now I can go over to a friend's house without needing to lie down on the couch!!
On top of that, you've had the stress of numerous physical ailments. I'd be surprised if you weren't still overcoming some of the trauma associated with all of that; your mind and body need time -- a regular routine, good nutrition, and rest -- in order to heal from that.
So, you've been through so much and it's time to be kind to yourself. I read your note and I get the impression that you're settling for less than the life that you need. And I don't know exactly what you dream of doing, or what you need, but I get the impression that you need -stimulus!- -passion!- -energy!- spark!! something to make your life enjoyable again.
some suggestions, (which i know you've already though of but it's hard to get started so i'll reiterate what you've thought here):
- you seem so social on the board. is there any forum you could socialize in and be stimulated? for me, i go to a unitarian group that makes me feel accepted _ and_ intellectually fulfilled. depending on what you like to do, your place could be a monthly meeting of a philosopher's cafe, the local goddess worship group, or -Hypo and Happy!- support group.
- you are so smart. could you put these smarts to good use by finishing off your phd (what was it in, anyways?), taking a class, or volunteering to teach computer skills to needy adults at a community center?
- getting off so many drugs! sweatiness, confusion, etc. you sound way overmedicated. you say you have to drug up every hour; is it possible to change your regime? this sounds way too harsh, like you've tipped the balance from helpful to negative as far as side effects go.
- generally, without 'settling' or giving in for less than you deserve, accepting and loving yourself for who you are right now, knowing that despite the 'fake fat' of hypothyroidism, you are a beautiful shining woman inside. loving yourself means letting yourself rest, doing nice things for yourself, dressing like you care about yourself, and gettin' out in the world to let other folks see how awesome you are.
Well, hope my support helps you out a bit. I'm really glad that you shared how you feel, since you're so good to us all here on the board.
*hugs* hope you have a great day/night. :D
bookgurl99
poster:bookgurl99
thread:119365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020906/msgs/119517.html