Posted by audrey on September 9, 2002, at 14:06:07
In reply to Question for Audrey, posted by sjb on September 9, 2002, at 10:00:13
What is your diagnosis and what meds are you taking, if any? Do they help with your thoughts of death? What is your athletic activity of choice (running, swimming, soccer, etc)?
I just started taking Depakote, and am not sure how it's going to impact my training. However, in the past I've taken Zoloft, Paxil, Effexor, Buspar, Klonopin, Xanax, and Wellbutrin. All except the Benzos made me more anxious than I already was! I recently moved to Boston and finally found a doctor who was willing to go the extra mile to help me figure out what was really wrong with me rather than just declaring I was depressed (as if I didn't alredy know that), and I finally think the diagnosis is correct -- bipolar II.
In terms of my running, swimming, and, more recently, biking, I had good periods and bad periods. Sometimes I would go weeks or months without doing anything except sitting on the couch watching movies (they knew me really well at the video store) just because I couldn't motivate myself to get out and go for a run or hit the pool, or concentrate on reading a book or writing. And that's a vicious circle because NOT getting out there made me more depressed which made it harder to get moving which made me even more depressed... But then there were periods in which running and swimming probably saved me.
Anyway, I'm coming out of a very scary, hypomanic phase that I've been in since February, but I've managed to mostly maintain my training. I think having the goal of doing the half-Ironman triathlon has motivated me, especially since I've never done a triathlon before, and "looking stupid" in front of other people is something I'm horrified of! That fear also keeps me from acting like the crazy person I can be in public!
Anyway, if you'd like, I'll let you know how the Depakote is working out for me, if that is a drug you haven't tried, and if it would be appropriate for your diagnosis.
Oh, and although I disagreed with much of what the original poster of this thread said, I think he makes a good point about kicking the fast food habit. As soon as I became vegetarian, I felt much healthier, physically, and to some extent mentally. It's a tough habit to break, though.
Good luck.
> I, too, am an endurance athlete or at least used to be. What meds are you taking? I've found that some seriously hinder my training. Wish I could eat well, but give in to cravings for junk.
> I, too, think about dying everyday.
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poster:audrey
thread:118970
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020906/msgs/119378.html