Posted by cybercafe on August 19, 2002, at 23:22:46
In reply to Re: Neurontin » momo3, posted by BarbaraCat on August 19, 2002, at 13:57:33
>mentally ill is terrifying. It's hard to separate when I'm reacting normally to situations and when I'm descending into the pit again. And the rage! whew! My childhood was very abusive and I have much to be enraged about. For the most part, I can look at it philosophically and with compassion towards my poor clueless
yeah society aint very flexible... i mean i could do really good work if it weren't 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week.... but it's really hard to get a decent job less than 40 hours a week
>depressed. I absolutely forget about things like grace, endurance, friendship and family, etc. Unfortunately, I've hurt many feelings along the way during my nastier episodes. People may forgive, especially those who have suffered similarly themselves, but no one ever forgets.
hmmm.... ! this i call irritability that comes along when i'm depressed..... like i get pissed off at my mother (who isn't depressed) when she whines about how hard her life is and how i'm not perfect... like hello! being depressed isn't about being selfish :) .... but this is more irritable bad negative feeling.... more on the hopeless end of the spectrum
whereas the caged animal to me... isn't a negative feeling ... the frustration comes from the fact that i think i can get a lot better, but people are just totally unreasonable in being unwilling to help ... it's a very positive feeling in many ways cuz it gets me to do things... ummm.. really when it gets very caged animalish its hard to put up with.... but it's still a lot better than depression, cuz there is an expectation of things getting better --- whereas the irritibility that you describe is accompanied by feelings that things suck and they aren't going to get better and i am sick of doing this and having to do it over and over again ....
irritability is more like people actively doing things to me... like parents wanting me to clean up stuff when i am totally depressed and fatigued and being unwilling to understand how i can't do it...
whereas caged animalness is like me wanting to do things .. me wanting people to do things for me... which they won't ... like pdoc seeing me sometime soon, or cars on the road that won't get out of the way, etc...
poster:cybercafe
thread:107896
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020814/msgs/117034.html