Posted by automatedlady on May 31, 2002, at 10:08:58
In reply to Re: obsessive searching, posted by bookgurl99 on May 29, 2002, at 20:12:46
Hi
Don't think I explained that right. It's definitely comforting that my family refuse to believe there's anything seriously (physically)wrong with me. But they refuse to believe there's anything mentally/emotionally wrong with me either. They don't use terms like "depression" or "anxiety" (only "you're a miserable cow" or "it's really hard to be your parent"). So I'm left with no diagnosis whatsoever for my symptoms. I'm not physically ill but I'm not allowed to call myself mentally ill either. Which in itself makes me think I'm going mad. The particularly sad thing about all this is the fact that my mother has been depressed on and off all her life. She is, I'm not allowed to be. Do you see what I mean?It's a big deal to me at the moment because I'm living at home (just finished a university course and looking for a job). I suppose it offers me an insight into WHY I feel it's so important to find a physical explanation for my difficulties, since in my family mental illness doesn't exist.
I hope you don't mind me ranting like this, somewhat off topic. I'm just sick of that feeling you get when the people closest to you tell you that what you are experiencing doesn't exist. My mother keeps telling me I "seem fine". I just hide it because I know it's not allowed! Here's to the day I move out!
AL x
poster:automatedlady
thread:106985
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020525/msgs/108159.html