Posted by BarbaraCat on May 17, 2002, at 12:50:20
In reply to Re: Here's my OCD story, posted by Kat26 on May 17, 2002, at 12:31:38
Hi Kat26,
What strikes me about these stories is that so much of what we obsess about is really kind, considerate and compassionate stuff - brave, even. I'm sure there's a special place in the heart of the Divine for someone who is so caring about little bugs. It's almost like there are so many shmucks in the world that a certain group gets to take up their slack. It doesn't help anyone, though, if we burn ourselves out in the process. - Barbara> Hello Barbara,
>
> these are symptoms of OCD I have had:
>
> - feeling responsible for everything and everybody. For example, seeing something lying in the street and having to get off the bus to pick it up so nobody would trip over it. Or seeing unevenness in sidewalk and having to report it to the city department. Same with any smell that somehow resemles gas smell, even if it is just a whiff outside somewhere and could be ANYTHING (like soup cooking, or sewer, or whatever).
> - It got to the point where I just hardly could look outside anymore when riding on the bus or with somebody in a car. The whole world seemed just so cluttered with scary things to obsess about that I just had to keep my eyes closed. Sometimes even when walking. Which made me sad, as I could not enjoy things anymore. I tried to look outside from a bus even for 10 seconds and my anxiety just skyrocketed.
> - Also feeling responsible for tiny creatures like insects, checking fountains for drowning insects and collecting bags full of trash to save the ants from being picked up by garbage collectors, etc.
> - Also feeling responsible for people on the internet. About 1 1/2 years ago I went through a phase when I would stay at the computer lab till the early hours of the morning making sure nobody was suicidal or otherwise not doing good, and it could somehow be my responsibility for not being there.
> - Checking on people I saw, especially homeless people sleeping outside (I live in San Francisco, lots of them here)
> - Superstitious thinking: "If I don't do X, something bad will happen". Just random thoughts that popped into my head, and then I would have to do it.
> - Along the same line: If somebody said certain things like "this is killing me" or "go to hell" I panicked, because I thought it might somehow come true, and I spent sleepless hours thinking how I could make that person "take it back", etc... driving people crazy by constantly asking and reasking things and trying to make them rephrase sentences.
> -feeling guilty VERY easily, even about things just thought
>
> I am sure there was more. As for treatment, I did only a very short term cognitive behavioral thing, but think what really helped me is the prozac. The symptoms have practically disappeared. It didn't even take long.
> Trying to cut down my dose from 40 to 30 now... when I lok at my symptom list I get a little nervous about that... LOL...
>
> Kat26
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:106680
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020517/msgs/106784.html