Posted by sid on May 16, 2002, at 15:00:14
In reply to Re: GP telling you this sid?, posted by katekite on May 16, 2002, at 12:46:39
Hi again, kate.
Actually, I only had one psychotherapist that I considered intelligent enough to be useful. Others were feely-touchy or trying to manipulate me but in a way that was so obvious it was almost funny. And I e-mailed him this morning ! I had gone through a number of psych tests back then, so I e-mailed to ask him about BPD. He said it is unlikely in my case. I am INTP (I remembered that much), and I had symptoms of dysthymia. Which is what I've been telling my doc. I'm bringing a copy of his message. If she continues to bother me, I'll switch.
About my family - yeah, unresolved issues. I wish I had the guts to just tell them off, for good. Divorce them altogether. Except my mother with whom I get along. My brother in law is an SOB and my sister is too dependent on him to even realize it. She's clingy these days and very needy. He's going fishing for the weekend so she just called to go have dinner with me tomorrow night. It's OK, we'll have fun. As long as he's not there, I can survive. For some reason, I keep taking care of everyone - I seem to be a resource in high demand! When I'm not doing well though, I'm alone in the world and I'm told to get over it and get a life. Blablabla. Sorry about the rambling.
You're clearly right about the unresolved issues. The anger? At this point, about the abuse, mostly, and about men. It's like I need to meet a guy who will set things right... and frankly, why would I impose so much pressure on anyone? In the meantime, of course, I only meet jerks, which reinforces my negative impression of them. Some day perhaps I'll have someone in my life, but for now, I have a career to establish, financial problems to address (it was fun to study so long, but at some point I need some stability and to pay my student loans), etc. My doc would like me to go out, meet people, make friends, get a boyfriend, etc. At my age (34), it's not so easy anymore, and when I get home at night, I just want a glass of wine and some peace and quiet. For once I feel good (I've been on meds for 6 months, after 21 yrs of dysthymia), I don't feel like changing everything in my life - I'm barely getting my bearings back.
Well, I'm glad my former therapist responded so fast. I won't think about this BPD stuff anymore! I do have other issues, which I am aware of, but I am in no hurry to deal with. I do believe it's my prerogative.
- sid
poster:sid
thread:106027
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020510/msgs/106685.html