Posted by IsoM on April 2, 2002, at 22:06:46
In reply to ISO M - please read my note on admin board!, posted by Janelle on April 2, 2002, at 15:40:26
Janelle, I wrote some on PB Admin, but here's a little more. In one of your comments, you wrote:
"Not only does this happen - constant, racing, INTRUSIVE thoughts that steer me away from being able to focus on even the simplest things (a tv program, reading a magazine, never mind trying to read medical info from the Net), but I have become absent-minded and forgetful, two things I NEVER am when I'm feeling *well* - I'm extremely organized, careful, methodical. It is very upsetting to have *lost* this (temporarily, I hope)."
Ah, but that's what I'm like normally - really! One of my sons used to think I was an organised person. I asked him to look around. Did he really think I could organise things well? He said he'd thought I was because I spent so much time trying to keep things organised. I told him what other people can do effortlessly, without even thinking about it, I need to channel all my concentration & effort on NOT to DISorganise so fast.
My thoughts are intrusive only in the sense that they're bothersome because I'm trying to think or do other things instead. My mind feels like a container of popcorn being popped. Thoughts, like kernels of corn, are bouncing around randomly inside my head. Concentrating can be very exhausting for me. Only when I'm hyperfocusing does it become effortless & then I become oblivious to other things happening around me.
There's some posts here that I can't read, interesting or not, because it's all in one long paragraph - no breaks. I blank out. If there's an article that's I want to read that's long or in difficult format or has a fancy patterned background, I have to copy & paste it into a word document & reformat it before I can read it. I need to break it into smaller readable paragraphs.
Adrafinil helps a lot with these problems, but nothing will ever help 100%. I've learned to develop strategies for accomodating myself to different environments & situations. I've been fairly successful as most people don't realise there's anything strange about me.
At university, I used these strategies while note-taking, listening, & studying. My profs were impressed with my study habits but I told them it came from coping with life normally for me.
I do wish I could use my potential fully though. But I've learned that many other people are also hindered from reaching their potential too from various problems. I'm hardly unique.
poster:IsoM
thread:101512
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020402/msgs/101586.html