Posted by Ritch on March 25, 2002, at 19:43:59
In reply to Hate drug?, posted by OldSchool on March 25, 2002, at 18:43:51
> What do you do if your depression is so bad that it encompasses your whole way of thinking? Like youve been so severely depressed for so long, that you think the whole world is basically a pile of shit? That people as a general rule suck. That people are not worth shit. That people fuck things up more times than they get it right.
>
> Im just of the opinion that most people, at least in the USA, are worthless and lazy. I have the feeling and belief that many people including many medical professionals, do not do their jobs correctly or thoroughly. I also feel strongly that the particular Geographic area where I live, the Southeastern USA, is full of absolutely stupid, ignorant, dumbass people.
>
> I feel that their is a very big case of "I dont give a shititis" in the world we live in. People are basically lazy.
> I just feel that much of the old ways, where people took pride in their work is gone. Nowadays nobody gives a fuck about anything except themselves. Look at medicine...its totally corrupted by money, thats one of the main reasons there are so many complaints about it. Everything about it, the insurance/HMO end of it, the doctors themselves who think they all DESERVE to make $200,000 a year, the greedy pharmaceutical companies, etc. its just a pile of shit IMO. Just endless cynical feelings.
>
> Anyway, I find myself so cynical sometimes as to be burned up with hate almost. And this leads to depression feelings, hopelessness, a "who gives a shit" attitude. A feeling of why even bother, why try,, cause the world is a shitty place basically. Like many times I find myself thinking when Im talking to someone, "this person is an ignoramous I wish I lived up North still." Or I think "nobody around here is even worth knowing." Or "dont even talk to me, your a dumbass leave me alone."
>
> What do you do when you find yourself at the point where you just about cant stand anybody? Youre nice to people to their face, but deep down inside you think they are not worth shit. Like you dont like anybody but yourself? And maybe your family and a few close friends? You think people suck.
>
> Is this just the depression talking? Endless pessimism? Is this psychotic depression? Or do I just have a bad attitude from a rough life? Many times I wonder if Im crazy or psychotic.
>
> Old School
OS,It really sounds a *lot* like dysphoric hypomania, or hypomanic rage (mixed-state-stuff). I have thought similar things a couple of hundred times for at least a few hours over the last quarter-century! The worst of it was always caused by certain antidepressants and other drugs. I think the worst episode of rage I ever experienced was Effexor+Prednisone or Remeron, or Buspar. There really is a scary violent element to it(I used to ruminate about violent stuff on those meds). I read some of your posts above about trying out some lithium and dumping the antidepressants. Hey, give it a try before you go for the ECT, OK?
well wishes,
Mitch
poster:Ritch
thread:100102
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020322/msgs/100122.html