Posted by Ritch on February 13, 2002, at 0:26:10
In reply to ADDers and BPIIers and GADers please comment, posted by Mr. Scott on February 12, 2002, at 19:58:15
> If you've read all this and post a response (if you can), I promise to do my diligence and 'Get You Back' when I can help.
>
> I cannot relax unless I am TOTALLY depressed or exhausted. I cannot get to work on time to save my life (luckily I can come in late and work late). My office is always a mess (hundred of notes scratched on little pieces of paper I cannot throw away). I am usually lethargic, except when I have something to do. Then I am like a chicken with it's head cut off. I can multi-task on 5 important tasks at once, but If I know I have time I will forget about it until the deadline.
Ditto on the relaxation, but I *always* get to work on time (maybe OCD* stuff?). I tend to be very disorganized as well-until I *want* or *need* to be. I like multitasking. Stims make that *more* difficult, but they do MIRACLES for staying on one *fixed* task.> I cannot pace myself I either do everything at once or nothing at all. I find it hard to leave work until every last thing is done instead of looking at the week or the actual amount of time I have to complete a task. I never remember names of people I meet until I meete them several times. This I think pisses people off at times or I seem unfriendly, but truth is I can't remmber who these people are half the time.
I find it *difficult* to pace myself, too. But, when you experience all of the negative effects of workaholism, you learn on "the back side of time". It is easier to remember people's names when you aren't distracted.
>
> Once I do decide to take something on I am very intense about it, so as to get it perfect and not mess up. I'm depressed on one hand and manic on the other. My father is clearly dysthymic and my mother is clearly hyperthymic and I have both of their qualities.
Yes, definitely feel the perfectionistic drive. And if you mess up something it is tough to get over any criticism about the mistakes.
> Every morning on the way to work I feel a sense of dread coming over me...Fear and anxiety build. And considering that that I will hit snooze for two hours before getting out of bed when I get into work, I am like a bull at a rodeo (unless it's a down time and then I'm lethargic). What's odd is that when I'm half asleep I could care less about getting up on time or anything else for that matter.
I experience a lot of dread and anticipatory anxiety especially when there are meetings or audits involved on the day I am coming in to work.
>
> My mood cycles throughout the day. I Feel moments of mild euphoria and dysphoria. I am highly cynical and always gravitate towards the unruly crew rather than the dogooders, but people who know me think I'm very funny and intelligent.
I have got the cynicism and black humor, but I generally feel the same throughout the day. The "unruly crew" tends to have better ideas IMO.>
> Stimulants alone or with SSRI's turn me into a weirdo and generally don't help because they worsen my anxiety too much. Mood stabilizers make me dumb (although I'm currently retrying some). Benzo's are nice for the way I feel, but make me a total idiot. AD's are okay. i actually can kick the depressions with most of them and it's the side effects I can't tolerate or make me bounce from one to the other.
Stims tend to cause "freezing" with me amongst other people. However, if I am taking a serotonergic med with it-it reduces that. Interestingly, I took 150mg of lithium last nite for sleep and it worked better than Klonopin. I felt a little *dazed* today at work, but it seemed to be easier to work without being distracted.
>
> I am very impulsive, a super thinker, who not only dwells on the why of everything, but also literally can't stop thinking and if I'm not thinking, some intense tunes are blasting away in my head.The "tunes" with me are aggravated by antidepressants and today after taking that little dose of lithium last nite-was a LOT quieter.
>
> I guess my question is 'what he hell is wrong with me?' I am working with my doctor to figure this out, but the posts on this board have been immensely helpful. Also, sometimes I can't quite say to my doc what I manage to say here (can't remember what I was thinking or express it), and if I can discuss them here I seem to be better able to regurgitate my thoughts on the couch.
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> Sorry for the length, I know when I'm really down I can't even read the paper.
>
> Scott
Hey, seriously, maybe do a Powerpoint presentation on your own time and then bring it in on a laptop to your pdoc and show it-and leave the .ppt file with them. Haven't tried that yet, but I am starting to seriously consider it. There is so little time to talk about so many things-and if your pdoc goes off on a tangent-you will waste the whole hour.Mitch
poster:Ritch
thread:93926
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020208/msgs/93952.html