Posted by finelinebob on January 25, 2002, at 2:59:33
In reply to Re: what med is best for ocd? flb old school, posted by Tammy on January 24, 2002, at 21:56:33
> flb
> are u still on meds..... are u'r fears resolved from the meds??? did u do therapy?
> the reason i ask is because i fear just about everything. !!!!!!!!! and i feel i could never be happy........ and i have NOTHING to be unhappy about...... just negative thoughts constantly...
> but somethings (thoughts) stay with me and i cant shake them...... i try my hardest...... !!!!!Tammy,
Like Old School, my anxiety is driven more by my depression than the other way around. I'm on three meds right now -- nortriptyline, ritalin, and klonopin. Nortrip does the best for me in dealing with my depression, but does nothing for my anxiety as zoloft would. Then again, first time I was on zoloft I had a manic response to it, then the next two times it just made me fat (gained 50 pounds, cholesterol sky-rocketed ... my PCP pretty much "banned" me from taking it ever again ;^). Ritalin's there to augment the nortrip, and klonopin for anxiety.
After a few years on this cocktail, I've finally been able to make enough progress with my therapist to be able to see clearly that the status-quo just wasn't cutting it.
Prior to Sept11, my meds were managing my anxiety well enough for me to recognize it when it was flaring up and do what I needed to cope. In November, it all finally sunk in (being two blocks from the WTC when it happened, losing my job given conditions, etc.) ... like you, I was scared of everything. Or, perhaps, I was scared of nothing in particular ... just scared all the time.
Two things got me through ... a damn good therapist and acupuncture (which I've been blathering on about all over this board recently ;^). So now I'm getting back to where I was Sept 10th or so ... which is good because I just got a contract for designing a web site and that means I'll have to leave my apartment on a regular, daily basis!
I guess it gets down to how "diagnoses" and other such labels may help doctors talk to one another -- and I don't see how health insurance could exist without slapping a label on our foreheads -- but there's no clear line between anxiety and depression. I mean, when I talk about having "ocd-like behaviors", it's because I recognize their compulsive nature and how my other "anxiety indicators" ... heart rate, breathing, "buzz" along my nerves ... coincide with them. But the biggest effect of these behaviors is that they're my own way of "cutting", of self-injury -- but its a pain that I can control and that distracts me from pains I can't control. So, should I be taking meds for depression or anxiety to control this behavior?
You got me. Zoloft eliminated it, but it caused more problems than it solved for me. Nortrip and klonopin don't even touch it ... but they take care of enough in other departments so that I have the cognitive and emotional wherewithal to modify my behavior once I recognize it.
Well, okay ... IF I actually WANT to modify my behavior ....
pardon the ramble....
flb
poster:finelinebob
thread:91433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020124/msgs/91514.html