Posted by Lorraine on November 28, 2001, at 18:47:52
In reply to Re: Morphine for depression. » Lorraine, posted by shelliR on November 28, 2001, at 0:02:48
Shelli:
> >
> Is this paragraph below about the retest the same day, or is this from your last test?My most recent QEEG (done last week).
> > My redone QEEG confirms pretty much his earlier assessment--that amphetamine and mood stabilizer are the ticket, but that Adderall is not doing the job. So he switched me to ritalin (I've tried dexidrine before). My initial reaction was increased anxiety, but I cut the dose down to 1/4 of a 10 mg tab 4x a day and that helps. I suspect we are going to try Ritalin SR next. He says the amplitude (or voltage) of alpha waves is low--to him this suggests amphetamines. We did a hyperventilating QEEG also, which showed that when I hyperventilate my voltage goes even lower (it should go higher), which he said indicates that under stress I have no power (voltage) to cope--which certainly is true. It is also true that I feel as though I am always trying to manage my power or energy level.
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> I don't know the difference between concerta and ritalin SR. Both are long-lasting ritalin.They're the same--my mistake.
>
> >
> > Meanwhile, my alternative medicine doctor tested my amino acid levels and found low levels of several that are implicated with depression (methionine, phenylalinine, tryptophan, tyrosine, and glutamine) so a custom blend of amino acids reflecting my test results is being made. I will try these for 2 months to see if there is any improvement. I have tried a number of these individually, but she believes it is the combination that is important.
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> > >
> How does your pdoc feel about changing things from your alternative doctor; he doesn't worry that a change of enzymes might affect his tests and sort of muddy the field?I have to talk to him about it. It's hard to keep static though, you know. I'd like to get someplace stable for the holidays even if it is not permanent. The good thing is I don't have to wait weeks to find out if a stimulent is working.
> I did a long trial of Topomax, because at the time I was working with a pdoc who believed in long trials.Did you also lose weight on it like some people report? (That would be pretty odd to lose weight while sleeping.)
> >
> > I don't know, Shelli, you seem pretty patient to me:-)
>
> Well, sort of what choice do we have? Although I was quite ready to try opiates before anyone gave it to me because my depression was so painful, sometimes unbearable. It's always hard for me to explain why it is unbearable . And I don't even know what's exactly happening. Like where the hurt eminated from, except from my chest.
> > I can't believe I actually called them and asked them if I could kill myself. It was probably the stupidest thing I ever did because of course I knew what they would say and I also made them feel so bad.Maybe you needed to have them say it to you. On my birthday (just passed) I asked my husband and each of the kids to write me a note about why they loved me. It was great to read them, great (particularly for the kids) to think about why they loved me and I learned a lot about the entire family. But, part of the reason I had them write the notes was so that I could store them in my suicide file (where I keep letters that would stop me if I got to that point).
> That's why my pdocs threats are so scary to me; I can't control when I reach the end of the helpfulness of a dose.
This would really scare me also.
> >
> > I can really see the appeal to this, Shelli. Family expectations of performance go up when my mood stabilizes and then when my mood falls apart, don't adjust back down, which makes it hard.
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> Can your family always tell when you're depressed? Is there that big a difference in your behavior toawrd everyone?Oh, yeah. They all know when I dip. I'm either weepy, lethargic or brittle. Plus I try to tell them so they won't think my behavior is because of something they did or didn't do. Sometimes I just ask to be left alone (when I want to sit and cry--I can comfort myself well enough with stacks of books and I don't want to be bringing everyone else down, though they feel the void anyway).
> > I want to go back on oxy I think, and I just never know when I'll reach the end of effectiveness. But thers's really no point in not living in the now. I can't control what happens with my body chemistry.
And you can bear the cost? If the methadone doesn't quite do it, can you combine the two (oxy and methadone)? or augment the methadone?
I hope things pick up again for you.
Lorraine
poster:Lorraine
thread:84007
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20011123/msgs/85456.html