Posted by Kaysey on August 13, 2001, at 14:28:38
In reply to Re: Effexor - NEED INPUT PLEASE » Kaysey, posted by DP on August 13, 2001, at 11:17:35
> Thanks again for all the replies. I really appreciate them. It's nice to know there are people out there that understand and sympathetic about what I'm going through. I never even experienced a panic attack, let alone heard of one.
>
> In case anyone is interested in knowing:
>
> I just came back from my first counseling session (for my eating disorder) with a psychiatrist that I was referred to from my regular doctor. Boy, she REALLY dug deep into the root of things. I'm not one to blame my parents or my upbringing for my current actions, as I believe we are all responsible for our own action as adults. But I can't help but to think if things would have been different had I grown up with different parents. I come from a strict asian family - parents weren't even born here. They're the type of parents that would question my bringing home an A- on a report card saying, "well why couldn't you get an A". More recently, I lost my mother to cancer. I felt as though I had a "tighter" relationship with my dad since he's the only parent I now have, so I came out to him and told him I was gay - he basically disowned me. Anyway, I'm sorry for babbling. The point I'm making is that there's a lot more to my eating disorder than I originally thought. You're so right, Kaysey, about living in a society where "thin is gorgeous". Everyone keeps telling me I look ok (btw, I'm 27 years old, 6'0", 160lbs considered to be underweight by many people). Still I do not like what I see in the mirror. I'll never be happy unless I get rid of my obsession with weight. I'm hoping with the proper medication and therapy, I can get through this.
>
> Again I apologize for the long message. Thanks so much for listening, everyone.
>
> Jimmy
I really didn't mean to become the 'eating disorders pen pal' with regard to this (LOL); -),
but there are so many things that I and many others can relate to with regard to this. Even though I am much older (43) and female, I can well remember the days of the questions about the A- or the (gasp!!!) B+ from high school. The point being Jimmy we were brought up with perfectionism and control. As you know, even better than I, breaking the control in order to be 'yourself' was just not accepted. So the pattern to be perfect, yet maintain your own independence is achieved by controlling your own body size.
I am sure you will be working these things out with your doctor. Is there a chance that you might be able to join a support group as well? In 'my' day, any kind of 'counseling' was frowned upon (my dad kept wanting the doctors to say I had some catastrophic illness--he refused to believe that it--the weight loss-- had anything to do with 'the mind'), and support groups didn't exist. I have been able to sort this out myself with the assistance of self-help books, etc. Most importantly I no longer hold my parents responsible. They were doing the best they could, based upon their own upbringing.
Most parents (not all, of course)attempt to do what they think is best for their children. Your dad no doubt believes that academic perfection and a life that is deemed appropriate by his family philosophy is the only way for you to live. However, as an adult now, you can make your own (hopefully healthy) choices.
Once again ask your physician if a support group is available. It is comforting to realize that there are others who share these feelings.
Again, best of luck and hang in there with the effexor!
poster:Kaysey
thread:74801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010809/msgs/74946.html