Posted by Georgie Geordie on August 6, 2001, at 21:07:05
I dont really know how to put this but i'm the worst benzodiazipine addict I know. I've suffered anxiety from very young age, and do have some Psychic ability.
Of course if you dont have psychic ability you may be cynical but its really just due to ungated sensiromotor regions in the brain, causing our senses to percieve quantum fields that get in the way of everyday survival.
Lots of us feel energies to some extent and obviously some academics do. This study was done at harvard last year.
http://www.spl.harvard.edu:8000/pages/projects/schiz/projects/p_schiztypal.html
Download the bottom paper "Schizotypal personality disorder and MRI abnormailities of temporal lobe gray matter", all brain scans were done on those who responded to a "sixth sense" ad in the paper.Ok so its a biologicial process and very often Schizophrenia is part of the picture, which makes the cynicsm worse..... the overstimulation creates the feedback delusions ( i think, i dont want to be too cynical, but I cannot see how thoughts and images remain integrity while being transferred from Neural structure of brain through the atmosphere, but memory is spatial and holographic so I keep an open mind.)
Sorry thats divergant for my reason for posting which my problem with benzodiazipines.. All my life I have been overwhelmed with sensory input, thats why I try to illustrate the Psychic stuff from common Neurology....resulting in hiding from people..and so I have become schizotypical with the resultant atrophy in my CAS regions.My amgdyla is way oversensitive and I can meditate, deep breath and so on for a week, but none of that helps, because I percieve and feel to much human energy..so as a young man ten years ago I presented myself to the doctor with anxiety.
He gave me temazepam, and eventually the benefits were mind blowing...from being a penniless trapped scared person I had something that could shield me, and dampen my senses at the primal brain amygdala level. Cognitive therapy only helps when dealing with real human issues not deep primal brain...energy fields.
Very soon I started education and excelled beyond all other pupils. I could sit in a class and not be freaked by what other people felt, or plain distracted.
Of course addiction set in, and I would not give up my new life, so I forged prescriptions, so I could stay in the game. Never did i abuse the drug. Periodically I would stop for a month and hide out stocked up, and work at home.
Eventually the NHS britiain stopped the drug as its being abused by people more confused than myself. So supplies became impossible to get, and I had to stop at a time when I was doing really well. I ran a youth Roller hockey team, and was able to socialize widely.
The withdrawals crippled me and I had mild strokes and loss of physical health...muscle etc...no concentration..panic attacks....bone problems due to physical stress etc.
But rules are rules in Britain so I've struggled..buying them from illicit sources, using then only when dealing with people...but i'm not the type to hide what I do or keep secret stocks so periodically I run out.
When I do...i'm a wreck...i'll try for months, a year well past the withdrawal curve..but I still cannot function....I have'nt told my doctor. because there is no point..rules are solid in britain...I can get them occassionally..but I have to revert to illicit means...
I tried..effexor..buspar..prozac...all those ...but they do not work..
Its Gaba and thats the truth of it...so the rules are supid..i'm a non creative..ill human without occasional benzos...and to have the freedom of being part of the world and to be reduced to a lonely hermit..and to know the drug can help...but the system does not allow it is frustrating to say the least.
If you were me what would you do ? and does anybody know of a gaba drug or any way I can present my case to my doctor in a way he can understand.......
poster:Georgie Geordie
thread:73868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010804/msgs/73868.html