Posted by Simcha on August 3, 2001, at 14:09:03
In reply to I'm so sick of living like this, posted by Else on August 2, 2001, at 22:59:44
Else,
Buddy, I'm so sorry that life is so very painful for you right now. I can relate to your story and your pain. I don't remember a time in my life where I wasn't depressed, paranoid, anxious. It just didn't happen for me without medication.
I am not numb on ADs. I'm on Wellbutrin and Celexa. I think the pdoc is going to up my doses next week again. I've been having some return to negative thinking... The anxiety has been lessened though. ;-)
Some days on this mix I do feel ephorically happy. And why not? Logically I have everything a 31 year old man could need at this very moment. There are days when the "committee" in my head holds an extra session to bring me anxiety and pain. Those are the days where even though all I want to do is lock the door, crawl into bed and die, I need to ask for help.
You are a good example of that for me, Else. Here you are getting help in your darkness. You are worth it. I hope you find the path you need in order to get well.
I have learned to accept that through genetics and whatever else, I have a chemical imbalance. I need meds to restore the balance. It is a maintenance thing with me. I compare it to diabetes where one needs insulin in order to maintain wellness. I need my ADs in order to maintain my wellness.
Shalom,
Peace,
Simcha ;-)
poster:Simcha
thread:73202
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010731/msgs/73369.html