Posted by susan C on July 9, 2001, at 17:14:40
In reply to Re: What to do after awakening??, posted by kid_A on July 9, 2001, at 16:30:18
> kid A, I appreciated all that you wrote. What I meant by 'volunteer' is, if you get to the point where you are stable enough to commit to something, even one hour a week, or a couple of hours a month, you can find an organization that can use your help. I am not there yet, this time. I was before and that is what helped me build to working. I have been thinking, this time, to volunteer with the humane society and walk dogs. I don't have a pet and I think it would be comforting. What is nice about volunteering, is there a lot of different kinds and the organizations are very flexible and they are happy to get the help. So, if you can't come one time it is ok. One step at a time, one baby step at a time. I am 50.
> i have no idea what "volunteer" entails, though its not a horribly bad idea, but i can tell you this...
>
> perhaps im not 48, im only 30... but i had felt that i wasted all of my youth in needless writhing mental agony... i had a youth, i had social functions, girlfriends, and the like... it was nothing close to normal... but there was human connection... but when you go through your entire life and look at yourself with utter hatred, you might as well be dead...
>
> Even when things were going 'okay', i still was depressed, even if they said they did, how could anyone ever love me? I had no idea... One day it all broke, and for 7 or so years I languished in drug abuse and cheap friends, throwaway people, and sporadic and transient cheap relationships...
>
> One day I met a friend who gave me the inspiration to start pulling myself up from the gutter... yet it was still 3 years until i got to where i am now... getting help, that is finally changing my life for the better...
>
> whatever happens when we die, you still have -now- go visit a museum, walk through a cornfield, watch a sunset on the beach, go to another country, read finnigans wake by james joyce just to say you did it... get loaded (unless you used to be an alcoholic, scratch that last one...:), meet people... there are a lot of people much older than you who are showing no signs of giving up now... my father, whos probably 10 years older than you, (who i think coincidentally suffered from some form of untreated depression for a good while) just re-married, and is now i think, finally happy... But **age has nothing to do w/ it**
>
> sure there is a lot of ugliness in this world, but it has -no- power over you... only you have that power, and you should put it to good use while you have the cognitive ability to do so...
>
> just my 2cents..........
poster:susan C
thread:69484
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010708/msgs/69509.html