Posted by dana on June 19, 2001, at 22:05:17
In reply to Re: ADs and love, posted by sl on June 19, 2001, at 18:49:38
Do you really believe that it was the initial 'crush' on the woman and the subsquent realisation that a relationship with this woman would be impossible......is the 'cause' of your depression ?
Can I suggest that you were at a stage in your life where you would have been vulnerable to having a 'minor depression' regardless of what may seem to be the trigger.
And that one of the sure signs of 'something' has weakened in your coping mechanisms is this 'OBSESSING' about someone. I don't want to sound harsh as I know what 'depression' is like and I wouldn't wish it in any one...but my understanding of depression is that mostly those who suffer from it were vulnerable anyway, and that it is the particular sequence of events that occur that make the symptoms rise to a point that we need counselling and/or meds.
Maybe try to break the 'cycle' of thinking that is so common with Panic/Anxiety sufferers and I would imagine those suffering from depression.
Maybe instead of now having 'something' to focus on as the cause of your depression, approach your road to recovery as a chance to change a character vulnerability in yourelf, and be able to arm yourself with 'self-talk' so there won't be such a hard fall next time. Maybe you have a character trait that 'wants what it can't have'.....and struggles with the 'rejection' ...and this time the unavailability of this woman was the 'final straw ' so to speak.
Maybe for you it's safer to pursue someone when you almost know already that a relationship would be unlikely....... which sounds more like a self-esteem issue.......be gentle on yourself. You deserve better......
Are you getting councelling..? Here in Australia the chances of getting a brilliant therapist is so high, I hope that wherever you are from it is just as good.. Please treat youself to some lovely MENTAL MASSAGING....and then be able to arm yourself with SELF TALK ... and breathing exercises ..it's worth the effort. Getting off the merry-go-round is so good.
Good luck
Dana
poster:dana
thread:67113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010618/msgs/67138.html