Posted by shar on November 13, 2000, at 1:16:42
In reply to Re: @#$%^*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » Andre Allard, posted by pullmarine on November 9, 2000, at 22:03:27
Just wondering from where your hopelessness stems. And, it seems you have strong reactions when you are involved with a woman who stands you up or does other thoughtless things. Like suicidal reactions.
So here is my rap about that: IMHO we can feel so good while courting, getting into a new relationship, it is exciting, new, it feels great to have someone want you and be close, touching, holding each other. All of those wonderful sensations.
Here's the rub, so to speak. If we happen to give the other person our happiness (we are happy because of them or when they are around) then when the person leaves, so does the happiness.
So, the point of helpfulness here becomes one of learning to be ok with who we are, like ourselves, etc. (which takes work), and then if a courtship comes along, it is like icing on the cake, and we know we will be ok if that person does not fulfill our wants or desires.
Of course it would be sad, disappointing, etc., but being ok before we meet the one, we are better able to weather the storm, and will be ok after the one has left. They don't take our happiness with them because it is inside us.
Yours has any chance of being inside you? Liking yourself? Forgiving yourself? Not harming yourself? I am strongly hoping for you to find one thing that you have inside you to feel good about. And being aware of your hopelessness, and where it comes from.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:48316
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20001102/msgs/48740.html