Posted by pullmarine on November 9, 2000, at 22:26:50
In reply to self-destructive friend--NEED HELP!!, posted by lala on November 6, 2000, at 9:13:17
1. If you decide to help her, make sure you are going for counselling with someoene who has a strong background in suicide prevention.
2 Read up about the Do's and Dont's of suicide prevention.
3. Get ready for a tough battle.
one of my dearest friends i fear is on a road to self-destruction.4. Sometimes, there nothing that can be done. Such is life.
she briefly went to a psychiatrist 2-3 years ago who prescribed her prozac...she gave that up after a couple of weeks,
5. That's her right!!!!!!!
we live in separate cities, so i'm not around to see her behavior most of the time.6. Make regular appointments in times of crises.
anyway, she has developed a drinking problem here recently and it is of course adding to her problems.
7. Don't judge, don't pressure!
i've talked until i'm blue in the face,
8. Do not talk!!!!
DO not offer advice!!!!
Do ask questions!!!
Be direct.!!!
and LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN to her say what's on her mind!!!!!!!! She will probably repeat certain things again and again till it's out of her system!talking to her doesn't help.
9. Of course not. these types of problems are like grieving. If you were grieving the loss of a son or a lover. would you want someone to give you advice and talk at you? or would you prefer have someone listen to you or be with you in silence?
she blatantly told me that she had recently cut her arms and beat her head . i'm not sure if this is characteristic in self-injury to tell people like it is nothing.
10. Yes. this is normal, but it's a serious warning sign!!!!It is characteristic of suicidal people to give warning signs. This is usually beyongd their control. Please read up on suicide and warning signals.
>
> I don't know what to do. she will not seek help on her own and none of her family is aware of how bad things are.11. Listen to her. make regular appointments. If her mood improves suddendly (overnight) CALL FOR HELP IMMEDIATLY!!!!! >
i want to confront her but am afraid of triggering something.
12. DON"T BE AFRAID!!!!! ASK HER VERY DIRECTLY IF SHE IS CONSIDERING SUICIDE.
my first inclination is to talk to her
12. DO NOT TALK!!! LISTEN!!!!
and try to get her to be serious and realize what she is doing.
LISTEN TO HER!!!!!
it's all a joke to her-the cutting-the drinking-the drinking and driving-the denial.
LET HER DRINK IF SHE NEEDS TO!!!!
if i can't get her to do this the only thing i can think to do is threaten her. meaning, i plan to let her mother, who is a nurse, know what her daughter is doing.
Finally a good idea!!!!
>
> how wrong is this of me?QUITE JUSTIFIED!!!
i am willing to temporarily lose this friendship as long as it gets her the help she needs.
You won't lose her friendship!!!
Much courage,john
poster:pullmarine
thread:48252
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20001102/msgs/48581.html