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Re: going for the gold

Posted by shar on September 21, 2000, at 0:05:54

In reply to going for the gold, posted by ryan_s on September 20, 2000, at 11:59:32

Laz: So glad to hear that you are doing well for the most part.

You may want to consider that the kind of reactions you are describing (as in saying you love English, then thinking of 10 reasons you don't) may be a habit that you've had for years. Very often we have to develop thought processes that will help us through life, and they don't always make sense, or turn out to be helpful as we begin to heal.

If you think it's truly compulsive (like OCD)there may be a med to help, but at least consider taking some time to become aware of when you do this, maybe think back to the reasons why it may have worked for you before, (if it did), and make a concerted effort to let go of that habit.

It may be that's how people talked to you; when you said something happy or good, you got ten reasons why it wasn't. If that happened, it would make sense you would carry it on now.

The old "who, what, why, when, where" may give you insight. The work is to be aware, and have something positive to put in its place. Or to simply acknowledge "there is that list again" and go on from there.

If nothing helps, try a counseling session or two or twenty...whatever, or keep posting here. It does not sound like it's keeping you isolated from others, but more like it's an annoyance now.

If you are leaning toward meds, there are sure plenty to go around. It would be worth discussing with your pdoc.

Good luck!
S


> yes, i feel like i have the bronze metal in my compitition with depression, and feel that i can capture the gold throughout this next year. the goal is happiness. i have been on a variety of antidepressants, AP's, and neurontin. the only drug combo that has worked is effexor and adderall. Effexor cleared my mind and adderall helped me hold conversations with people for more than ten minutes. the problem is that when i talk about myself i never seem to feel passionate for what i am saying at the present time. for example, i might say, "i love the subject of english" (what i am studying), but then i think of ten other reasons why i hate it. the entire day is like a battle. granted personal indecisiveness is natural to a point, but mine is to a tee.
>
> here is where i need your help. this is sad to say, but the only time that i feel love, compassion, and the willingness to talk to family and friends is when i drink alcohol in combination with the effexor and the adderall. i would like to try a med, like neurontin that acts on GABA but without the side effect of depression (have tried before). i think that three meds is going to be my limit. anyways thanks for the info and best of luck to you all.
>
> going for the gold,
> ryan_s


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