Posted by LucindaLinda on August 30, 2000, at 22:27:42
In reply to Re: keeping taking antidepressants a secret.., posted by allisonm on August 30, 2000, at 21:47:05
I was just prescribed Celexa for the first time and am scared to death that it will reacte completely opposite of what it is supposed to. Still have the 1/2 pill sitting here waiting to go down the hatch. Maybe I will cut it in 1/2 again? to start.. Know what you all mean about telling the "Fam", alot of my family are in total denial that depression is legitament. If I would just quit telling myself all these bad things I'd be just fine. I finally made a list of all the things I had done to help myself get well and it was amazing the effort I have put into this process over the past 10 years, not to mention the money I have spent. The guilt overwhelms me sometimes, I feel so worthless and ashamed that I have been unable to pull myself up outta of this black hole I fall into. I finally joined a support group and at least have a place to talk about how it feels to be depressed. Good luck to all of you, this is hard to deal with...
> My staff and I had a retreat last Friday, during the afternoon of conversation about how things were going at work, two said they thought I had been angry at them because I had started isolating from them and they wanted to know why. I had to 'fess up and tell them I was still working on this depression, I was on ADs, I have been suicidal, and yes I was isolating but it was from everything, not just them and not to worry because my isolating had nothing to do with their job performance. They were very accepting and some could relate stories about how they thought some in their families might have depression also. I still felt rather humiliated. I have had to try to explain to them what depression feels like. Now I think they're worried about me, which is the last thing I want. Work is a stressful-enough place without having to worry that their boss might off herself...
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> My dad thinks I'm a "level-headed girl" with my feet on the ground. He's also a frugal man and a pseudo Christian Scientist, so he sees no need for spending money on docs or drugs. Everyone else in my family is dead. He's it. So I have to look elsewhere for support.
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> I have told a number of people about my depression, my psychiatrist and my meds -- mostly friends. Some near-strangers understand completely because they're going through it too, and some very close friends and family members don't understand at all and think I should just think happy thoughts, drop-kick the shrink and dump the meds. There's no guessing what the reaction will be.
poster:LucindaLinda
thread:43990
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000822/msgs/44113.html