Posted by Rach on August 12, 2000, at 5:28:57
In reply to New Here, Hope you Don't mind Me Asking This, posted by Dancer on August 11, 2000, at 9:04:00
Welcome Dancer!
(I'm in a bit of a hurry, so I haven't read all of the other posts. Sorry if I rehash)
The great thing about PB is that it is a forum for everything surrounding depression (and some things that are totally unrelated). I read your post to Kath, and I'm sure you will be a very helpful and insightful addition to the group!Whilst not married, I used to live on campus at University with my boyfriend. It was very hard for him, trying to deal with me sleeping all day, having sobbing episodes all night etc...
The main thing I have to say is do not pressure your husband to do anything. Give him a few nudges, but if he gives you a definitive No, then let him be. Give him some space. Also, continue to give him support. Reassure him - keep telling him how much you love him, that he is very important to you, that he is a special person who is intelligent/sexy/hard working (whatever he tends to need to hear). I'm fairly sure that you are doing all this already. Just try to keep it up. When he is feeling okay, just remind him to sometimes give you some support, whether it is simply telling you he loves you. Gently remind him, when he is at a level point, that you also rely on his love.
Also, take time for yourself. Make sure that whilst you are caring for him, you are caring for yourself. Maybe you could give yourself an entire day a week, or a couple of afternoons a week, to take time out. Go shopping, see a movie, gossip with friends - do what you need to do to feel appreciated and alive. This will probably help you and prevent you from getting 'association depression'. Make sure you are in a happy and stable place within yourself, from which you can then base your aid for your husband.
It is very very hard, as I'm sure you know. Best of luck, I hope you and your husband find the peace you are striving for.
Rachael
poster:Rach
thread:42576
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000811/msgs/42667.html