Posted by NikkiT2 on August 3, 2000, at 5:40:44
In reply to What's With This Anyway--Damn!, posted by tina on July 31, 2000, at 15:16:00
*gives you a huge great hug now she can post on PB again*
Tina, I know exactly what you meant in your post.. I spoke to my pdoc about those kinda thoughts... the "I don't want to kill myself, but I wish something else would". I felt too much guilt to try suicide, but there wouldn't be that guilt if someone or something wiped me out - it wouldn't be my fault then would it.
Even though I feel so much better, I'm still very un bothered about dying - I can take it or leave it kinda feeling. Most people find that so hard to undrstand.
Wish there was a way to get you back to being bright again. Just hang in there. The lights gone out now, but there *are* things for you to look ahead to aren't there... It hurts so damned much - that crash after a high though (I'm also terrified I'm gonna crash any time soon).
I'm here if you need anyone hun. Try not to hurt too much - maybe a not so damaging kind of hurting. I found rubbing constantly with a sponge till my arms was red was pretty good... gave the feelings, without lasting damage.
Take care
N xxx
poster:NikkiT2
thread:41870
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000729/msgs/42077.html