Posted by ksvt on August 2, 2000, at 12:00:59
In reply to Re: feeling ashamed of depression, posted by Cindy W on August 1, 2000, at 22:23:17
> > I can relate. I try to talk about it as little as possible, and when I do I am usually thinking, ' who the hell is this nut I'm talking about?' I hate that feeling of being out-there, vunerable loose in the system.
> >
> > I only talk about it to my psychiatrist and here at PB, but there certainly have been times in my life where I've had to talk about it in places where I didn't want to, to people I didn't want to share it with.
> >
> > the worst time to have to do this is when you are actually suffering from the illness, and feeling extremely vunerable. I'm sorry you had to experience this today. It always took me a few days to recover from this kind of stuff.
> >
> > I've made a policy for myself to talk about it as little as possible. I don't tell anyone except when I absolutely must - like your situation today. Sorry again.
> >
> > Janice
> >
> > ps you have no reason to feel depressed, I have no reason to feel good (but I do). It's not your fault, it's not my fault.
> ksvt, I can relate, too. I feel especially ashamed today, because I just can't take any action to change the things I need to change in my life. It's hard enough to get out of bed in the morning, go to work, and make it through the day. After work, I do a few errands, feed my pets, and lie in bed trying to sleep (with varying success). I feel so ashamed that I'm not all better yet, after taking Effexor-XR and working with a pdoc for almost a year. Today was the first time in a long time I thought about suicide, too, although I won't do it. Hang in there and I'll try to do the same!Cindy - I feel badly I didn't respond to you a little more directly, as you did to me. I hope things are looking a little better today. You raised an issue about how long it's been for you. I worry about this all the time, but I worried alot more about it for the first year or so after i was diagnosed with major depression (for the 2nd time at least). It does none of us any good to set timetables on recovery. I try to remind myself, not always very successfully, that it took me a long time to develop depression and that it's not going to go away overnight. Hopefully you'll come to feel, most of the time anyway, that there's alot of ways to accommodate your life to depression so that you can tolerate the fact that it may always be there in some form. This is easier said than done but its worth working towards. Thanks again ksvt
poster:ksvt
thread:41956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000729/msgs/42018.html