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Re: serzone, surreal feeling

Posted by jzp on July 27, 2000, at 17:33:55

In reply to Re: serzone, surreal feeling, posted by Iden on July 27, 2000, at 12:34:14


>
> .............. after the throwing up and dizziness went away, and then the manic thang going away i am now feeling a bit scared because life has become very surreal. ............... then all of a sudden this whole new world opens up (perceptually) and i have no one (that) familiar with me to 'bounce off of'... it just makes me feel as if i am losing my grounding... that somehow i will completely abandon where it was i was going and begin to become someone else. .................... yo
>

Hi again,
While I have definitely not experienced the physical or weird-personality-feeling side effects, I do understand the feeling that you have sort of lost your compass. While I don't want to discount in any way the importance of having someone close to you who can tell if things are starting to go haywire (especially when you are trying to adjust to a new medicine), I have noticed that my (ex)boyfriend has kind of gotten to the point where it's almost like he believes that I really am the person that I appear to be when I'm depressed. I mean, it's understandable, considering that I was depressed for about 20-22 months out of the 30 we were together. (I mean, I know it's not like the end of a 20-year marriage, but I'm only 24 and it's the longest, biggest relationship I've had.) Anyway, I guess what I'm saying, is that no matter how well you think someone knows you, it's conceivable that your "compass" is skewed, just from prolonged exposure to your depressed self. (Obviously, I know nothing about your relationship, yona, so I'm speaking strictly from my own experience here.)

And as for the surreal feeling-- I know that it's really common for people with depression to start seeing their depressed self as their "real" self. I know I do-- that's why it's so much easier for me to identify when I'm going into hypomanic mode-- it doesn't feel like "me." Anyway, do you think it's something like that, or is it a much weirder feeling?

Anyway, I hope that you start to settle in to this soon. How long have you been on the Serzone?

Take care,
Jannette


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