Posted by Cindy W on July 6, 2000, at 0:20:11
In reply to the river is running dry, posted by ryan_s on July 5, 2000, at 16:11:55
> hello to all of you courageous souls,
>
> first of all i would like to tell all of the babblers out there what i heard the other night on tv. there was a special on depression. one quote from a doctor who specializes in depression stuck to my ribs. he said, "some people look at a depressed patient as being mentally weak. the truth is that depressants are some of the strongest minded people in the world, because they deal with the pain of a uncontrollable disease every single day of their lives."
>
> wow.
>
> it is nice to start a discussion with some optimism.
>
> my name is ryan. i have been a babbler for one year. i suffer from some form of depression. that is my problem i do not know what exactly is wrong with me. one thing i do know. i am not happy.
>
> through two years of therapy i have been put on prozac, paxil, celexa, buspar, neurontin, remeron, wellbutrin, zyprexa, seroquel, and adderall. the ssris only made my depression worse. serotinin syndrome (the loss of feelings or blunting of emotions) made me feel like a was going crazy. the neurontin made me feel like i was drunk and did nothing for my self esteem, which is my biggest problem. remeron made sleep for hours on end and gave me a sense that i was detached from the world. seroquel and zyprexa did help with my anxiety, but did nothing for my general sense of well being. all of the meds that i have mentioned i tried for at least one month. that brings me to the present. adderall. when i first took adderall it made me feel normal. i no longer needed to fidget and act on my impulsive nature. however, once again the adderall is not doing much for my self esteem.
>
> if someone can relate to me i am going to try to tell you what it feels like to be me. i get up in the morning and have thoughts that come from the depression. "why, ryan, can do you not want to hang out with people; why are you so unsure of yourself; my friends probably are scared of me and do not want to talk to me because they think that i am weird; why are you not proud of yourself; why are you not excited to be alive; ext. ext. to keep a long story short these negative thoughts flow through my head every single day.
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> the one positve that i have through my ordeal with depresion is that something has to be out there that will help me and others in my situation. the main thing that i am looking for is a medication that like adderall does not give me horrible side effects, but that helps me love myself. the ssris are out of the question. i refuse to try another. the maois are probably out of the question also, because they are known for there side effects, and they act on serotonin. from all of the research that i have done on medications there doesnt seem to be much more left in the cabinet that will help my situation. if anyone has any ideas please reply. i would greatly appreciate anything.
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> thank you so much,
> ryanRyan, i've been depressed and had ocd since childhood (48, nearly 49 years, i'd say). i've tried different therapies and meds (incl. imipramine, prozac, luvox, serzone, zoloft). Cognitive behavior therapy and supportive therapy with a really great pdoc, along with Effexor-XR and serzone (two meds you apparently haven't tried) have really been helping me. Hang in there! people here really care, and the help you need may be just around the corner.
poster:Cindy W
thread:39467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000630/msgs/39523.html