Posted by Kerry on June 22, 2000, at 19:40:23
In reply to Re: Jack of all trades ADD? me 2, posted by Johnturner77 on June 22, 2000, at 14:30:08
Wayne- you are not a loser, you are seeking help, and you are not at all alone in this. Johnturner--maybe you could look into a research study at a hospital--free psychiatric care and therapy, too. It's good to know there are others out there that share some of my symptoms--the symptoms that have triggered incredible self-loathing on my part.
What you describe is really me. I had no idea I had ADD until I took a similar kind of inventory...then I went to the doctor and took the MMPI (475 question test) and a strange computer test, then evaluated by a psychologist (I've known about the depression for years but haven't found the right meds.) I am the woman of ideas. I talk, talk, talk, about all the things I'm going to to, want to do, and then do little to accomplish those goals. I can't even take myself seriously anymore when I come up with a goal...I don't trust myself to follow through on ANYTHING. Managed to get my BA and teaching credential but it was very painful (my little secret). I would begin every quarter with a full load of classes and inevitably drop down to the minimum necessary to maintain full-time enrollment.
I am a teacher, and I've found this is an incredibly difficult job for one who is depressed, ADD and generally oversensitive. Organization is almost a requirement, and I am so, so scattered. The paperwork is killing me. I'm always over-ambitious about my lessons: I gather twenty-five books on one topic and brainstorm but can never put anything cohesive together---just a disjointed mess. I work so hard but can't see the fruits of my efforts because I'm trying to accomplish so much and never really finish anything. Please give public school teachers a break--we are under immense pressure and given little support (both w/ resources and financially). I'm broke (monetarily) and feel beaten up every day in this job.
I guess I've developed some coping skills along the way though I don't know what they are. I don't really want to know what they are because I want to change and get focused and be somewhat happy. Don't know if that's possible, but I hope so.
poster:Kerry
thread:38119
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000619/msgs/38153.html