Posted by afatchic on June 19, 2000, at 13:44:49
In reply to Re: Calling in sick GUILT, posted by Libby on June 19, 2000, at 12:15:02
Libby, Your post made me feel better about my life and the things I've been putting off. It seems I always feel guilty, I even feel guilty about feeling guilty. Thanks for your input.
> >Am I really sick? In the head, yes--so it's okay to call in sick, right?
>
> I reschedule meetings fairly often because I lack the mental resources to deal with a particular issue on a given day. If I'm having an emotional day, one where I'm crying constantly or agitated,
> I've found it's best for everyone if I stay home.
> I used to feel intense guilt over it because I didn't see depression as a real illness, but as a personal failing. Over time, I have begun to see it as a real illness, with real symptoms.
>
> What I used to see as laziness, I began to see lack of motivation. I saw that my fatigue wasn't because I didn't take care of myself. It was because sleep wasn't refreshing for me. And so on. That's not to say that depression is 100% physical. I believe there's a significant behavioral component to it... but my experience in the past has been that once the physiological problem is solved, the behavioral issues become much easier to handle.
>
> The guilt is optional. I used to feel guilt whenever I thought I had failed someone. I had terribly high expectations of myself and others. I was perfectionistic and self-critical. Gradually, I am learning to adjust my own expectations of myself so that they are appropriate to my current physical, emotional,
> and mental capacity. Meanwhile, I am trying to make sure all the physical symptoms are being addressed: the lack of sleep, the inability to concentrate, the eating disturbances. My hope is that once my body is functioning well again, I can begin to make some lasting changes in my behavior and mental state. Til then, I'm just trying to do what I can to manage.
>
> Best of luck to you... L.
poster:afatchic
thread:37797
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000619/msgs/37815.html