Posted by Sara T on May 29, 2000, at 17:26:04
In reply to thank you friends, posted by kathy on May 29, 2000, at 1:40:17
> Thank you Andrew for caring. you see it doesn't matter if you're hurt by a female or a male it is still just as painfull but men get over things faster than women. Men quickly try to find another mate or someting else to take their mind off of it. You see just before the divorce, I was 4 months pregnant and everyone was so happy .In matter of two days he decided he doen't want the baby and said that if I don't have an abortion he is going to divorce me. With many hours of crying and begging and him saying that it's either him or me being a single parent I believed him ofcourse, why wouldn't I, and finally gave in to his demand. He didn't even care that I had heard the baby's heart beat the day before and that I was totally attached to that being and I was ready to even know what the sex was very soon. In the hospital I just cried the whole time and as the anesthesia was being administered I kept crying and saying to the guy that Iam is so sad and God to punish me for this. From that day my life just changed. I just feel like he betrayed me totally and there is nothing I can do because I don't even know when I can get pregnant again and it is just way too much for me to handle that he can leave knowing that I was in so I much pain. He says that I was relieved from that abortion because I had such bad morning and all day sickness. I blame myself for the baby and I keep thinking that maybe I should have become a sinle parent because I love children and that child would have given me a reason to always be happy.This whole issue has just hit me really hard in the past week and I cry all day, evry moment that Iam awake. I feel nothing at timejust nothing and that is when I want to give up.....
Kathy -
I have been reading this thread with great interest and seeing everyone pull together to help you through your despair. I am so glad that you are responding and keeping with us.
This man, your ex, is someone who is NOT good for you or anyone. I hope one day soon you've be able to recognize that you are the one with something to offer. And when you do you will regain yourself and come to know your worth as a caring person. For the moment, I know you are doing all you can. Its OK to let down, its OK to be weak. Sometimes its only through weakness and despair that we build strength.
I am so sorry about the baby. But unless there was some problem during the abortion, you should be able to conceive again when the time is right. But as someone said earlier, don't have a child just to have something to love you and hold onto. Your children will need you to be whole and when their time comes, you will need to let go of them.
I hear in your posts a person who has a great capacity to care, and perhaps cares too deeply at times. You have alot of strength, and you will get through this and you will learn to protect yourself. You are fortunate that this man is out of your life.
Thinking of you,
Sara T.
poster:Sara T
thread:35054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35140.html