Posted by Cynthia M on May 23, 2000, at 20:09:15
In reply to Re: Cutting=bloodletting?, posted by Cynthia M on May 23, 2000, at 10:07:18
OK talk about a complete waste of time! I just spent an hour and a half with a "therapist" who did nothing but tell me that I may be having rage and it may have nothing to do with being bipolar. I guess I am just a bitch who has absolutely no self-control. It really is irritating when they say if your labs are good then maybe you are just re-acting to other stimuli...... I don't act like this on a normal basis so why would I "allow" it to have such a strong affect on me just because of the results of some labs... which by the way they didn't give me the results for......So, I guess that being "bipolar" has nothing to do with the way I feel about things or the way I handle things......Interesting.... does anyone want to tell me why I am taking all of this f**cking medication????If I am a just a bitch then why take all the pills....... I am wondering if any of these people have ever experienced blind rage.... I wonder if they have ever had their children afraid of them because of a rage episode.... Is it just me???? Am I not responding well to external stimuli? This "enlightening " session this afternoon makes me want to cut more than I have in two days!!!!! I have had it with therapy... I am supposed to go see my "regular" therapist tomorrow morning.. the guy I saw this afternoon was a crisis worker. I am tired of being treated like I am being melodramatic... It is like... Just shut up, let me cut , give me my other meds, if they are going to work, and leave me alone! Am I wrong here? Can someone who has never felt it relate to it?Sorry going off but at least I am not cutting right now.... Please respond with any and all opinions because the personelle that I am dealing with seem to think I am wearing my "Bipolar Disorder" as a crown or something and I can't survive without the drama.... I would like to never go back.... flush the meds and move on with life..........
poster:Cynthia M
thread:33767
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000517/msgs/34451.html