Posted by Noa on May 22, 2000, at 18:20:14
In reply to Re: Rage and Cutting Revisited Noa amd Janet, posted by Cynthia M on May 22, 2000, at 13:41:45
.. iam cancelling wednesday's appointment with the therapist... maybe friday's too....
Cynthia, given how recent sessions went, which probably felt really out of control for you, and in which you felt your rage was triggered, leading to the feeling that the clinicians were ready to lock you up, I can understand your desire to avoid going back. Especially, since you are really tuned in now to the idea of self-control when it comes to cutting. But perhaps another way to look at it is that you can go back to them and report all the work you have done--getting more info on your disorder, reading the book, making a good effort to reduce the frequency of cutting etc. It is an opportunity to ask the therapist to work with you to work in this new direction, and an opportunity to present this stronger sense of yourself that I think you are trying to get in touch with.
I also hope you don't reject all mental health care, just because the people you have seen have not been equipped to address your problem. Setting yourself up with the expectation to conquer the self-injury problem, and the problems underlying it, alone with no assistance, seems, well, like a set up. Just from your handful of posts, I get the impression that you are someone who expects a lot from herself. I love that you have taken on the challenge of cutting less, but I worry that you expect yourself not to need help. Perhaps you don't need the help, but to set up that expectation is a lot of pressure. Why not interview another clinician, one who is well versed in self-injury?
poster:Noa
thread:33767
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000517/msgs/34326.html