Posted by Noa on February 24, 2000, at 7:42:56
In reply to Re: Multitasking, posted by Phil on February 24, 2000, at 7:02:24
Thanks, all.
I ended up giving the higher dose of lithium at bedtime a try--I guess I was eager to start the additional 300. So I took 900 last night and 600 this morning. I actually only had one bathroom trip during the night, although it was only a 4 hour night (up late on Babble!) I took the extra .0125 of synthroid this am, on top of the usual dose.
The "Shoulds": at this point, a large share of the "shoulds" are my own, although I am sure I am still trying to achieve some unattainable emotional acceptance from my internalized parents. Relatively speaking, I am not a particularly driven person at all, but I do want to improve my skills and develop my career in a way that makes me feel some satisfaction. Also, when not depressed, I find a lot of things interesting, and want to pursue them, but haven't had the ability to follow through consistently either because I overextend myself, or because I get depressed. This may be my "manic" side, using the term loosely. I find so much interesting, and have ideas for projects to pursue, etc. In contrast, when I am depressed, not much interests me at all. Often I am around people who can do things with ease that are hard for me, and to them I can SEEM like someone who can also do them with ease. I can get caught up in the interest thing and find myself wanting to be a person who can do those things, rather than accepting myself as I am.
Money or Life: sounds like an interesting book--I'll look for it at the library (trying oh so hard to use the public library more, and Barnes and Noble less, because even when I just go to read at B&N, I run the risk of an impulse buy). But I do want to say, for me, the career thing has and probably never will be about having more money, because I don't ever actually HAVE money, it just passes through. My job is decent and pays somewhat adequately, relative to some other comparable jobs I see in the papers. But barely adequate to the high cost of living around here (including all my medical/psychiatric costs)and not adequate to cost of living plus debts. Cutting back professionally might mean losing out on a potential small increase in income (potential is the key word, because my depression squashed much of the effort that could have put me in a position to have this additional income), but it wouldn't have been a big difference. The difference would have been more in skill development, career development, interesting work to do, etc.
poster:Noa
thread:23436
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000220/msgs/23518.html