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Re: Reoccuring Dreams ... guilt and shame

Posted by dj on February 17, 2000, at 3:19:23

In reply to Reoccuring Dreams ... guilt and shame, posted by Janice on February 17, 2000, at 0:30:19


> Sometimes, upon waking, I have a reocurring >temporary sensation of guilt and shame

Hey Janice,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling kinda off still. Check out my I'm back post above and the book I reference -- 'A Manual for Life' In it there are some interesting distinctions which I've come to concur with and deeply appreciate. One is between guilt and shame -- the former is seen as unhealthy, the latter the contrary.

Guilt would be characterized by a tightening, cooling shutting down sensation whereas shame by warm flushes and perhaps blushing. The former is a learned response, the latter natural. They have 7.5 pages on the distinctions which you'll have to investigate for yourself if interested.

They wrap up that section with the following comments: "In guilt one is fixated, and no growth is possible; with the self-recognition in shame, growth can occur. Guilt promotes dependence on the external; shame fosters a feeling of freedom and self-reliance. Guilt is usually followed by depression: shame brings remorse with a fullness of feelings about the self. Guilt operates by obligation; shame involves being self-responsible. Guilt invites punishment, retribution, and forgiveness from another (and hence fosters dependency); shame invokes repentence and permits freedom and personal growth."

I prefer shame to guilt myself, which explains to some degree why I don't have a lot of time for the often practiced interpretation of Xtianity, as it too often fosters guilt and I prefer not to buy in.

I just checked to see if there was any reference to ADD as I know it's one of your pet foci. Lots on attention but not on that distinciton, unless it's not cited. I commend the book and their programs to you. Given that it's spring-like here in Vancouver and generally sunnier on Gabriola Island a weekend there might do you good, & it's only a hop, skip and a jump over the mountains and Georgia Strait and there you are, wherever you go... ; )

Frankly, J&B and their compassionate ways and teachings and their applications probably did as much to help get me through the past hellish year as ADs and probably much more, overall, in the long run. But as some long past commentator once wrote (some famous economist whose name is escaping me right now -- ahh... John Maynard Keynes (sp?) ): "In the long run, we are all dead.", so spend that money and have that good time now, cuz you never know about tomorrow...


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