Posted by Noa on February 2, 2000, at 23:08:53
When I got home today, and opened my apartment door, I was greeted by the lovely sound of...........nothing. Ahhhhh, that sounded great. No more running water to irk me. Of course, it isn't over, though because the guy apparently turned the hot water off altogether (the leaky faucet was the cold water).
This evening, I was enjoying the experience of *walking* from the living room through the front hallway to the bathroom, and even into the kitchen a bit. I say *walking* with emphasis, because what I previously had to do was more like navigating along craggy rocks in a stream, with thick vegetation in the way. A real obstacle course.
Even though there is still so much to clear out, it already seems like so much space is freed up. It almost makes me giddy. At the same time, there is this feeling of too much openness, not knowing what to make of the space. It is kind of like the anxiety of having options to choose from. Despite the restrictiveness, it can actually feel safer and more comfortable to not have choices. That is what the space issue is like for me. Being restricted in space by all the mess, left me having to live in a limited sphere, both literally and figuratively. Now, I both love the more open space, but am afraid of it. It beckons for me to move around in it, to occupy all the space, but it is scary for some reason.
Can anyone relate?
poster:Noa
thread:20422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000128/msgs/20422.html