Posted by shar on January 28, 2006, at 23:55:50
In reply to Re: loss and renewal, posted by coral on January 28, 2006, at 8:19:19
Coral,
When you're up to it, and there is no pressure or timeline, I'd really like to know about grieving through dreams. My father passed when I was 14, and then, later, in my 40's, I had a very cathartic dream about the event.
I don't know quite how to say it...it would be so helpful to know how that works in your dreams. I was a hospice volunteer (but since I took a 2nd job I am not any longer)...and that seems so relevent to the people I have talked with.
It was like during the day they were on auto-pilot, and then they (family/friends) would return home and sort of collapse and return the next day...but, they never got to grieve, or feel sorry for the loss (or coming loss), or sorry for themselves, or anything. They felt they were bad if they left a half-hour before visiting hours ended, even if they lived 75 miles away.
I used to tell the wives/husbands/daughters/sons that what they were doing (being with their dying loved one) was exhausting, and there was no shame in taking care their own self...but they always seemed to feel so awful about it.
SO, I hope YOU, Coral, will take your time, grieve as the grief fits you, and I know you will be 'you' again. It is sort of like the Phoenix (I hope that's not too hokey). You may be down right now, but you can flow, ride the wave, do what you need to, and come back to us with even more wisdom.
Again, I am very sorry for your loss, and I hope you are taking VERY good care of yourself! (Please!)
xoxoxo
Shar
poster:shar
thread:601329
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20050828/msgs/603978.html