Posted by Racer on July 8, 2003, at 2:25:51
zenhussy is right. Life does take more than one person, and I'm all alone in it. That's the problem, isn't it? My husband is upset with me, because he's "trying so hard" right now. Why am I so selfish? It's not enough! We went up to take my mother shopping today. She can't deal with my depression, so it's just "she's not feeling well".
I am alone, and I can't stand that. My lover is dead, and no one will ever want to touch me again. I'm 39 years old, and I want to be touched, held, loved. I don't want to live for years and years to come with no one wanting me. My husband doesn't want me, he only wants what I do for him.
He's angry with me right now. He wants it to be as simple as "I just didn't realize..." It's not. What did he think I was saying when I told him about our problems? NOW he thinks that going to a therapy appointment he made will fix everything. I don't know if I'll be there. I'm drinking beer to build up courage to leave tonight. I'm sorry. There's just too much wrong now. I don't know if I'll find the courage in the bottle or not, but if I do, please don't feel any guilt. You guys have been so generous over the years. Thank you.
poster:Racer
thread:240037
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20030702/msgs/240037.html