Posted by Dee on September 29, 1999, at 21:52:00
In reply to Pedophiles and curiosity..., posted by Janice on September 29, 1999, at 21:07:16
I don't know about that, Dj. Luckily pedofiling is not my thing, but I find that when I am approaching a deep depression, one of the sure signs is that I want to act out - all kinds of ways, including sexually. Emphasis on Want to - before I get a chance to do that, I get deeper in the pit and start having the feelings of being unlovable, even repulsive, that I don't get to act on it.
I once wrote something like:
...
this was when storms moved in
unexpectedly
and they were new every time
we watched them as
the sky grew black, and trees
were suddenly less tall
as they held the earth hard
their roots deep
so they wouldn't be blown awaylike I would hold you
years later
not knowing where I had learned to do so. (I love to quote myself)Using the storm as metaphor for the depression, and acknowledging that I would at times use other people to keep the feelings of loneliness, sadness and unlovability away, to have them confirm to me - over and over - that I am loved, and that way refusing to let the depression touch me. A strategy of denial and external dependence that helps for a night, but is not a solution. I would make a dear payment when the other person would refuse to carry my load - and I would be left with the feelings of rejection and ... and so on.
Considering this, I would imagine that a pedofile or whateverfile with ADD (NOT implying that there is a correlation) would be filing while he/she is in or getting to a low, to get away from the pain. Like I do, and I am sure there are others that can relate- only our domain of sexuality is only probably more socially and morally acceptable.
For this reason, I am not jumping into anything any more - if I get into a relationship or connect intimately with anybody, I take some time to make sure that I am doing it for the right reasons: that the person is right for me, and not just a quick fix for acute depression. That way neither one of us will get hurt.
Dee
poster:Dee
thread:11754
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991001/msgs/12274.html