Posted by Bob on September 12, 1999, at 16:47:42
In reply to obsessions about others, posted by cinder on September 11, 1999, at 20:39:38
>He's a surgeon...say no more
Ain't it the truth! LOL!I think your pdoc has a point about not trying to stifle your fantasies as long as they're not a problem in other ways, but it seems to me that it should have "run its course" in less than seven years!
I have to admit that I've done the same, on a less intense basis. Prior to meds, I didn't have an assertive bone in my body, particularly in interpersonal situations. Instead of simply asking someone out on a date, I'd imagine conversations and shared activities and create, basically, this perfect image of this woman as my partner ... which I knew wasn't who she was anyway, or I'd put this image on a pedestal and feel myself completely unworthy of even looking at her or talking to her. The few times I could manage to ask someone out, I'd take so much time to work up my nerve and then, finally, it would all come out in an awkward, stuttering rush with me blushing redder than a lobster. It was an approach that seldom worked, I'm sure you can imagine.
For me, it was always a case of a larger-than-life perception of the woman who, I had convinced myself, was my one and only "soul mate" versus my inherent lack of worth, crooked teeth, whatevah!
I don't know if this at all what you're feeling in obsessing this way. When I came to NYC four years ago, I thought I could reinvent myself, but these behaviors were still there. Getting on meds helped incredibly for me ... while SSRIs haven't had a good track record as ADs for me, they have both reduced my obsessive behaviors to almost nothing and have helped my confidence in social situations immensely.
Cheers,
Bob
poster:Bob
thread:11448
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/11496.html