Posted by v on May 17, 1999, at 7:14:24
In reply to Suddenly suicidal, scared, and still medicated..., posted by Racer on May 15, 1999, at 23:07:57
racer... i don't know that i have anything new to add but i wanted you to know that i really understand what you've expressed
i feel that way alot... it comes seemingly out of nowhere... like you, i just feel too tired of constantly fighting and like you, i am eating disordered... in my case though, right now it's the extra 20lbs i'm carrying that i constantly obsess over yet can't seem to lose despite oh whatever... too boring to even discourse over
i don't know whether you're suicidal or not... in my case, what i think is that it's not so much that i want to die anymore as much as that i'm just tired of not being able to live... dailiness itself takes so much out of me... and i get to feeling so sorry for myself over the life that could have been blah, blah... also i'm an incest survivor with all the crap that goes along with that...
i'd better stop this rambling before i further depress myself and you even more...
will it get better for you? well, yes... it does, doesn't it? my advice is nothing new... to check your meds out with your pdoc, wonder if you've got support in your life for the anorexia and if not, suggest you get some... i don't know where you live, but there are usually at least 12step groups for eating disorders which don't cost anything
and lastly to say that writing to us here is a wonderful thing... it's always good to reach out to people who understand and care... be gentle with yourself
blessings,
v> I don't know what triggered this, but suddenly I realized that I had nothing I wanted to live for. Nothing. It's not anything like the usual, not despondant, but suddenly too tired to deal with the problems and wanting just to get it over with.
>
> I'm still on Effexor XR, 112.5 per day, and it's still got me kinda sunny, but inside I just don't want to go on.
>
> Anyone else experience this? Am I really suicidal? I am considering it, since the financial problems are just overwhelming. I can't even afford to eat properly. (Part of this is due, I'm sure, to the loss of weight I've experienced. I'm about 15 - 20 pounds underweight now, and losing. Anorexia is starting to come back, too, and it makes me too tired to fight anymore.)
>
> So, any advice? Anything?
>
> Thanks.
poster:v
thread:6148
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990501/msgs/6193.html