![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on December 23, 2004, at 19:07:14
We are all,
each and every one of us,
alone in the world.Why does that hurt so much?
Posted by Susan47 on December 23, 2004, at 19:09:17
In reply to It's So True., posted by Susan47 on December 23, 2004, at 19:07:14
And now I've made my ex-T hate me.
He hates me.
He resents me.
I've made it very bad for him.
By trying to make it better for me.
The only way I understood how.
He actually hates me.
I wish I could die.
But I can't.
I have to live through this.
Somehow.
Please,
Somebody help me.
I want to cry until tomorrow.
Posted by AdaGrace on December 24, 2004, at 6:48:02
In reply to Re: It's So True., posted by Susan47 on December 23, 2004, at 19:09:17
Dear Sweet Sexy Susan,
Your ex-T is non comunicato, am I right? Therefore what you have percieved to have done to him or caused him to think isn't something he is telling you constantly is it? You are doing it to yourself. Take your own advice my dear. Concentrate on you. That description you painted for me was of someone self confident, self assured with her body, and someone ready for love. And I know sucking a beer bottle is unattractive. I'm digging out my black thigh highs today. Even though it's frigid weather, I plan to wear something slinky tonight. How do you like that? We can only be alone if we allow it. Today, I don't choose to allow it. I have reached out for companionship and conversation to the three men who have offed me in the past three months and smoothed it over with two. Waiting on the third. Having done that, I feel better about myself and can concentrate on me and my shadow and the man in my bed. I am not worthless. And I say that to myself many times a day. Okay, the bootleg diet pills I've recently purchased are working too. 5 pounds in 2 days. Yeah me!!
Now Susan, sit down at the mirror and touch your face and feel the beauty there. Brush your hair and run your fingers through the silky strands. Look at your outside and then look at the inside and see the beautiful being we all see. Some of us more than others. Many missed you more than you know.
Ada, up at the b*tt crack of dawn, Grace
Posted by Toph on December 24, 2004, at 14:06:57
In reply to Re: It's So True., posted by Susan47 on December 23, 2004, at 19:09:17
Of course, I can't be certain, but he doesn't hate you. He knows you better than I do, but he doesn't hate you. If you don't mind me saying it, Susan, you hate you. I know, cause I hate me.
Posted by Angel Girl on December 24, 2004, at 18:27:10
In reply to Re: It's So True. » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on December 24, 2004, at 6:48:02
AdaGrace
Tell me more about these 'diet pills'. You can babblemail me if you wish to not discuss it on the board. And Congratulations on your weight loss.
From another AG
Posted by Angel Girl on December 24, 2004, at 18:35:10
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Susan47, posted by Toph on December 24, 2004, at 14:06:57
Susan
I know absolutely nothing of your situation so please choose to ignore me if you wish. I think maybe this is only your perception and not in fact reality. I know this happens to me all the time. My perception of situations never seems to be the same as reality. I'm sure you are a very nice person. Remember, we all tend to be very critical of ourselves, when in fact, others see us much differently and for the better I might add.
I'm also wondering if he is your X then why are you worrying about what he thinks. We can not undo our pasts unfortunately, but we can learn from them and move on.
{{{{{{{{{{{Susan}}}}}}}}}}}}
AG
Posted by Susan47 on December 24, 2004, at 23:44:04
In reply to Re: It's So True. » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on December 24, 2004, at 6:48:02
There is no beauty in my face today.
It's a dead face.
My hair has Never
been silky,
it's as coarse
as straw.I'm so glad you're feeling good about yourself AG, you deserve it and I hope you get laid good. Have an O for me, I'm suddenly unable.
Posted by Susan47 on December 24, 2004, at 23:45:15
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Susan47, posted by Toph on December 24, 2004, at 14:06:57
Toph, I wish you could relate to me on different terms, it sucks having an "I hate me" party. Doesn't it?
Posted by Toph on December 25, 2004, at 16:15:50
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Toph, posted by Susan47 on December 24, 2004, at 23:45:15
I was so worried you would take that wrong. I'm glad that you understood that I didn't mean that you should hate yourself. The sh;t gets so deep sometimes its hard to keep our heads out.
I'll make a point of relating to you in other ways. If you're alone with a couple hours to yourself, what would you listen to , read or watch to fill the time?
Posted by Susan47 on December 25, 2004, at 20:55:25
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Susan47, posted by Toph on December 25, 2004, at 16:15:50
Well, I'm alone right now and about to watch "Romance" for the third time in two days.
This time, with my hand between my legs. And I don't care what anybody thinks about that.
I'm alive, damnit, and I'm going to live my life.
Posted by Toph on December 26, 2004, at 8:10:31
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Susan47, posted by Toph on December 25, 2004, at 16:15:50
I hope you enjoyed yourself Susan. I had a pretty good Christmas for once. Maybe this Lamictal stuff is going to help after all. My parents came over for breakfast and presents. I gave my dad kind of expensive binoculars so he can watch TV and go to the movies. He's almost blind from macular degeneration. He's done a lot for me so it was nice to see him so pleased. I really didn't have a mood swing all day which is a record of sorts for me with all the stress of holiday expectations and all. Saw Aviator which is long Titanic-like film. OCDs here will be pissed because it sort of blames Hughes' mother for his disorder which is a cheap shot at mothers. Otherwise it was pretty good.
I hope you are OK Susan. I hate being alone. I stayed with my first wife a year while she slept with another guy because I hate so much to be alone. She finally kicked me out when I lost my head and went to the guy's apartment and threatened to kill him.
This is good place for you to hang out. I'm not the only person that admires you. I would have enjoyed spending some time with you yesterday. Maybe we could have watched "Romance" together. Does it have a lot of planes and stuff in it?
-Toph
Posted by AdaGrace on December 26, 2004, at 8:19:51
In reply to Re: It's So True. » AdaGrace, posted by Susan47 on December 24, 2004, at 23:44:04
Susan, I have diagnosed myself as bi-polar, or at lease manic depressive, or at the very least premenopausal with terrific mood swings. Today I feel like shyte, in fact it started last night. I am nothing today. Nothing at all. Yesterday morning I was the queen mum and everyone loved me, and then I took a good long look in the mirror and of course didn't like what I saw. Will these mood swings ever stop? Will I ever feel normal again? The meds aren't working. I gained the 5 pounds back simply because I chose to eat two whole meals yesterday. Wish I could cut the fat off. I received a pleasant yet non romantic message this morning from someone I love with every breath I have, and even though I begged for something from him, anything, now that I got it, I feel sick to my stomach. The emptyness is overwhelming. And of course I cried. Haven't cried in over two weeks. Life sucks.
Posted by AdaGrace on December 26, 2004, at 8:21:18
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Toph, posted by Toph on December 26, 2004, at 8:10:31
Toph, I'm sorry to interrupt, but would like to share some information with you regarding the above condition, because my father has it too.
AdaGrace
Posted by Toph on December 26, 2004, at 15:37:54
In reply to Re: Macular Degeneration » Toph, posted by AdaGrace on December 26, 2004, at 8:21:18
I'd love to hear what your dad has experienced. I know there's two kinds - wet and dry. My dad has wet, the worst kind. He's had a bunch of laser treatments which helped to slow the progression but cured jack. He's more courageous than I, I'd be depressed and feel sorry for myself, he reads with this magnifying machine and takes me fly fishing in Alberta. I wish I were more like my dad. And then I'm glad that I'm not, but that's another thread.
-Toph
Posted by Susan47 on December 26, 2004, at 21:58:14
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Toph, posted by Toph on December 26, 2004, at 8:10:31
It has a lot of different planes of existence, if that's what you might mean.
Hmm.
It's an intelligent women's movie about men, women, sex, and domination.
I loved it, all three times. I related to the main player, big time. She ended up murdering her mate.
Posted by Susan47 on December 26, 2004, at 21:59:20
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Toph, posted by Toph on December 26, 2004, at 8:10:31
BTW, Toph, what you gave your dad for Christmas will get you a spot in my hall of fame for Kindness Given.
Posted by Susan47 on December 26, 2004, at 22:01:51
In reply to Re: It's So True. » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on December 26, 2004, at 8:19:51
Sounds like you should ignore the message ... maybe if you send back a VERY cool greeting you won't feel quite so sick, AG.
My heart is with you, I know what you're going through, inside and out, lovey. It's like that for me, too.
Posted by Toph on December 27, 2004, at 5:38:23
In reply to Toph, what're planes?, posted by Susan47 on December 26, 2004, at 21:58:14
> It's an intelligent women's movie about men, women, sex, and domination.
> I loved it, all three times. I related to the main player, big time. She ended up murdering her mate.
>LOL, and I thought it was about planes. Silly me, I forgot that the main character was Jocasta. Oedipus kills himself because as a child he didn't have the wright (no typo) tools to please her.
For a second there I thought OCD was faulty brain chemistry.
These thoughts bring up bad memoried for me. No, my mother didn't use a strange form of operant conditioning on me. Actually, I used to work where Bob works. There was this famous guy who developed a school for severely disturbed kids. His name was Bettelheim. He was a holocaust survivor and was an art history major or something. He was bright, very bright, pompous and creative. He developed ideas about treating disturbed kids, some great, some not so great. One of the not so great ones was blaming mothers for autism, "refrigerator moms," I think he called them. When you can't explain something, make it up, I always say.
-Toph
Posted by Toph on December 27, 2004, at 5:40:33
In reply to Re: It's So unTrue. » Toph, posted by Susan47 on December 26, 2004, at 21:59:20
I love my dad, but like Oedipus, we have issues.
Posted by AdaGrace on December 28, 2004, at 6:20:54
In reply to Re: Macular Degeneration » AdaGrace, posted by Toph on December 26, 2004, at 15:37:54
Actually it made a very lonely self absorbed old man into a much more lonely self absorbed old man who can't see jack and now needs to be driven everywhere and talks about how depressed and lonely he is all the time. Family back for Christmas, he was glad to see them go. They disrupted his routine. He's a pain in my donkey.
I have plans to babble mail you more, but have to get over this holiday black cloud that has descended upon me and threatens to envelope me in it's cold embrace and take me away to never never land where there isn't anyone or anything just emptyness.Ada, slipping over the edge, Grace
And yes we can go out for drinks, you just don't ask anymore........hmmmmpppp
Posted by AdaGrace on December 28, 2004, at 6:33:47
In reply to Re: It's So True. » AdaGrace, posted by Susan47 on December 26, 2004, at 22:01:51
I can't be cool. I am so heartbroken that I can't be cool and unfeeling. It's not in me. I'd beg steal or borrow to have something anything from him, and he knows that.
Posted by Toph on December 28, 2004, at 12:22:15
In reply to Re: Macular Degeneration » Toph, posted by AdaGrace on December 28, 2004, at 6:20:54
> Actually it made a very lonely self absorbed old man into a much more lonely self absorbed old man who can't see jack and now needs to be driven everywhere and talks about how depressed and lonely he is all the time. Family back for Christmas, he was glad to see them go. They disrupted his routine. He's a pain in my donkey.
> I have plans to babble mail you more, but have to get over this holiday black cloud that has descended upon me and threatens to envelope me in it's cold embrace and take me away to never never land where there isn't anyone or anything just emptyness.
>
> Ada, slipping over the edge, Grace
>
> And yes we can go out for drinks, you just don't ask anymore........hmmmmppppI'm just a lonely self absorbed old man also. But I think both of us have a little life left in us.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.