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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on July 31, 2007, at 11:57:56
My therapist said (in answer to a direct question) that yes, he does think I'm weird. But in a likable way. And that he likes me that way, and others will too. But that it will cause me some problems socially with some people, and that's ok. I just needed to find my niche.
Of course, none of this is really news to me. I've long known that he thinks I'm weird.
But I guess since I just saw the Harry Potter movie (and was struck by the excellent casting for Luna), it made me want to put together a necklace of butterbeer caps.
Posted by Dinah on July 31, 2007, at 12:23:14
In reply to Just call me Luna Lovegood, posted by Dinah on July 31, 2007, at 11:57:56
I should add that I took it in the spirit it was intended, and am amused, not hurt at all. In fact, I think it was another of those things that made me feel cared for, because it really was said with fondness and amusement, with only a hint of compassion.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 31, 2007, at 13:33:31
In reply to Re: Just call me Luna Lovegood, posted by Dinah on July 31, 2007, at 12:23:14
Luna dear,
you have seen a lot in your life that makes you a "character" rather than a role.plus, you have the most beautiful luminescent hair...
-Ll
Posted by tofuemmy on July 31, 2007, at 16:08:18
In reply to Re: Just call me Luna Lovegood » Dinah, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 31, 2007, at 13:33:31
"Wierd" is the same as "interesting" in my book. I have always thought wierd was a compliment....at least I have always TAKEN it as one!
To me, the opposite is "boring". <yawn>
emmy
Posted by slugdoo on July 31, 2007, at 17:01:28
In reply to Just call me Luna Lovegood, posted by Dinah on July 31, 2007, at 11:57:56
Hey being weird is better than boring, I agree with the others. Now, just so you don't get as weird as me. LOL Sometimes weird it too good of a thing. ;-) lol
Posted by Dinah on July 31, 2007, at 17:47:54
In reply to Re: Just call me Luna Lovegood, posted by slugdoo on July 31, 2007, at 17:01:28
You guys are way more diplomatic than my dear therapist. lol.
I think the reason I asked him outright was that the other day we were talking about my social phobia, and he said something along the lines that my fear arose because I was weird and feared that I would be judged negatively. And I sort of wondered if he meant to say that I thought of myself as weird, or if he had a therapeutic reason for being so... honest, or if he was just blurting what he thought.
He reminds me of my Dad when he does that. :)
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 31, 2007, at 18:27:51
In reply to Just call me Luna Lovegood, posted by Dinah on July 31, 2007, at 11:57:56
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2007, at 11:56:07
In reply to I LOVE LUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(and you, too) (nm), posted by TherapyGirl on July 31, 2007, at 18:27:51
And I have to admit that I felt from first reading about her that Luna was a kindred spirit. :)
But really that actress is incredible in the part. I read that she was a huge Harry Potter fan, which might explain why she really "got" Luna.
(It almost made me forgive the movie creators for putting Aunt Petunia in a miniskirt. Almost.)
Posted by TherapyGirl on August 1, 2007, at 18:07:44
In reply to Me too!! » TherapyGirl, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2007, at 11:56:07
I know what you mean about that mini skirt.
I also didn't like it that they ruined the big scene with Dumbledore at the end. Personally, I think that was the whole point of the book. I don't get why they would cut it the way they did. Of course, the relationships between Harry and everyone else is what I adore most about the book. But I guess the younger set mostly likes the big battle scenes.
But does anyone else see Dumbledore as Harry's T? Because when I read scenes with those two interacting and when I see them in the movies, it strikes me that Dumbledore is Harry's guide through life and I think that's much of what my T has done with me.
Or am I even weirder than Luna? I thought she nailed the part as well. I didn't necessarily think of her as a kindred spirit when I first met her, but I definitely always liked her.
Posted by OzLand on August 1, 2007, at 22:57:45
In reply to Just call me Luna Lovegood, posted by Dinah on July 31, 2007, at 11:57:56
It is always good to be unique! Take care.
OzLand
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2007, at 14:02:23
In reply to Re: Just call me Luna Lovegood » Dinah, posted by OzLand on August 1, 2007, at 22:57:45
Well, I do agree that unique is good.
But while I'm not quite offended, I still can't help but think that it was a bit indelicate of him to say that I'm afraid of being around people because I'm weird and fear they may judge me on that. It's pretty much guaranteed to increase, not decrease, my social anxiety.
Ok, I'll admit that part bugged me a bit.
I mean, I know I'm weird, but I'm a bit taken aback that he thinks it's that obvious to others.
Posted by OzLand on August 2, 2007, at 23:12:45
In reply to Re: Just call me Luna Lovegood » OzLand, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2007, at 14:02:23
So what is weird? I mean who is it that is defining weird; I would wonder what therapist means by weird, maybe something different from you??? My therapist once made some big issue about the faces I make, and at first I felt offended, but he said he loved them and acknowledged that he makes faces too. So, I would have to wonder what weird even means. What is weird to one may not be weird to others.
I hope you let your therapist know that his comment may have increased your social anxiety and also find out what the heck he really meant.
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2007, at 23:59:51
In reply to Re: Just call me Luna Lovegood » Dinah, posted by OzLand on August 2, 2007, at 23:12:45
I can probably put together what he meant by it, from his past comments. I may indeed tell him. It was kind of time delayed. I just now realized it bothered me. It was just so unhelpful.
Now that annoys me too. I haven't had time delayed therapy reactions for a while. :) I thought I'd gotten past that.
Posted by OzLand on August 3, 2007, at 22:32:35
In reply to Re: Just call me Luna Lovegood » OzLand, posted by Dinah on August 2, 2007, at 23:59:51
I am not sure time delayed reactions to therapy ever go away. To this day I think of things that I reacted to with my therapist back in the mid to late 1980's and early 90's. I would love to tell him, but he is no longer alive and I did not see him for probably four or five years before he died. So, don't be hard on yourself. I don't think it ever goes away. I sure have it now again with my current therapist. Just part of the package.
Posted by Honore on August 4, 2007, at 11:32:21
In reply to Re: Just call me Luna Lovegood » Dinah, posted by OzLand on August 3, 2007, at 22:32:35
I kind of knew it bothered you from the beginning, but I think you also were in touch with the fondness and warmth with which he said it--and were keeping the bad feelings at a distance.
You mentioned-- something like "but it doesn't bother me that he said it"-- which usually means that you're keeping away a feeling you already have.
I'm sorry it does make you more anxious-- but you know it's really a good thing-- socially even. It could mean that certain people (with more socially dominant views about life) might take time to see who you are-- but then other people-- who are more different, outside the mainstream and share more of your way of being-- will be drawn to you.
Really-- I know this sounds palliative, but I mean it 100%-- if you weren't weird, that would estrange or make uncomfortable the weird people of the world (of which, of all kinds, there are many)-- You can't be both conventional and weird-- and maybe the conventional people rule the world-- but the weird people are really making it go. Since everyone is one or the other--weird or not-weird-- it's so much nicer to be weird. (IMO, anyway-I'm certainly glad you're you-)
Maybe your T was inapt in his way of saying it-- Maybe he way trying to identify with your own sense of anxiety about being unusual-- so as to be believed about how great you are-- But he probably prides himself on being the sort of person who can appreciate you-- it's like being a fine wine-- not all palates can distinguish it from an ordinary one, which is much easier to acquire.
Talk with him, though-- maybe try to work this through, rather than take a break?-- he's probably a little weird himself-- so he might be forgiven? But mainly, I hope this doesn't disrupt all the good feelings that you've been having recently. (You've been having them, haven't you?)
Honore
Posted by Dinah on August 4, 2007, at 15:38:49
In reply to Re: delayed reactions to T--Dinah, posted by Honore on August 4, 2007, at 11:32:21
I've been having a lot of good feelings, although now I question whether they were based on accurate interpretations of what he did.
I think I choose to find comments amusing, if they aren't meant in a malicious way. I probably learned that from my father, who could say the most incredibly rude things even to the people he loved most. I chose to emphasize the many ways that he showed he loved me. But I guess that even if you choose to find something amusing, it can still chafe a bit.
You're right, of course, about weird. Just as there are groups I don't really fit in, I know instantly when I find a group of people who will be compatible. And they're usually a group of people who might not fit in well elsewhere as well. And they often are funnier and more interesting than your common non-weird person.
Yet.... I'm a big believer that some things are better left unspoken. I think what he said was likely one of them.
Unfortunately, he's not the least bit weird. One reason I was always amused that I chose him is that he's so unbelievably conventional. He's laid back (usually) to the point of being phlegmatic. He gets along well with most people, even the weird or annoying ones. But he cares very much about appearances, about fitting in, etc.
Posted by OzLand on August 4, 2007, at 19:25:26
In reply to Re: delayed reactions to T--Dinah » Honore, posted by Dinah on August 4, 2007, at 15:38:49
In terms of being laid back, he sounds like my psychiatrist/therapist from Menninger's. Nothing ruffled his feathers at least as far as patients were concerned. No matter what I did or said or what others said or did, he was always calm. He had a great laugh too, looked like jolly ol St. Nick, and when he lauged which he did a lot, his belly did roll like a bowl full of jelly.
I used to think he was laughing at me but later learned when he became my therapist when I was out of the hospital that he was laughing at what I said, the absurdity of some of my statements. I finally caught on to this after oh I guess two years! I would get so angry. Such is life with therapists. I now just cut to the chase and ask, swallow my pride, and of course it usually means I have misinterpreted his intent.
So maybe he means weird in a good way. Besides he probably does admire that in you and may think it is nice to be able to be that way. I have a friend who is "weird" in her own way and yet very sensitive. She knows now when I start laughing that I am not laughing at her but laughing at how she is so comfortable with being the way she is. She is very outspoken and does not give a crap what anyone thinks, and yet she does. She also has awful follow through, and so I have to chase her down sometimes. It's okay; it's who she is.
Oz
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