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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by linkadge on February 21, 2005, at 13:23:57
I go through these phases of what can be discribed as nothing less than psychotic rage, at god.
It is the most intense anger that I have ever experienced. An anger that I have never been able to direct at anyone in specific.
I hit a wall. I know god exists. I know he is there right now. And I also know that he doesn't bother to lift a damn finger to help any one of us here suffering on earth.
I just don't know what to think. I mean what the hell? Is he sitting up there laughing? Why in hell could not an all powerfull god just do something for a change to make it easier for us to live?
All the bullcrap answers that a pastor gives me just aren't cutting it anymore.
If I had half a mind, I say that god doesn't exist, but my temporal lobes are too active for that right now.
Linkadge
Posted by SLS on February 21, 2005, at 17:17:59
In reply to Does anyone get psychotically enraged at god ??, posted by linkadge on February 21, 2005, at 13:23:57
Hi Linkadge.
> I go through these phases of what can be discribed as nothing less than psychotic rage, at god.
Why would you characterize your rage as being psychotic? I know that it is intense, but not necessarily psychotic. It seems you have a realistic sense that you are suffering, and recognize to whom or what you would like to assign blame. You do not seem to require reality testing.
> It is the most intense anger that I have ever experienced. An anger that I have never been able to direct at anyone in specific.
> I hit a wall. I know god exists.How do you know that God exists?
> I know he is there right now. And I also know that he doesn't bother to lift a damn finger to help any one of us here suffering on earth.
You are experiencing a very common need to reconcile the allowance of pain and suffering by a supposedly all loving god. You might need quite a bit of time and speak to quite a few people and read quite a few books before you find your way to be at peace with the way things SEEM to be without being afforded the luxury of definitive evidence.
> I just don't know what to think. I mean what the hell? Is he sitting up there laughing? Why in hell could not an all powerfull god just do something for a change to make it easier for us to live?
You are in the right place to have some of your questions addressed by others. You might not find the answers you are looking for, but it is important for you to know that you are not the only one asking these questions. If you feel unable to keep a completely open mind at this point, that's OK. Try to keep an open heart, though.
> All the bullcrap answers that a pastor gives me just aren't cutting it anymore.
I would be very interested to know what the pastor had to say. Can you offer some examples?
> If I had half a mind, I say that god doesn't exist,
That's why God gave you two halves to work with. :-)
> but my temporal lobes are too active for that right now.
What role do the temporal lobes play in spirituality or a belief in God.
- Scott
Posted by Maximus on February 21, 2005, at 19:55:49
In reply to Does anyone get psychotically enraged at god ??, posted by linkadge on February 21, 2005, at 13:23:57
Did you see god? Did he help you?
Juste curieux.
Posted by linkadge on February 22, 2005, at 14:03:51
In reply to Re: Does anyone get psychotically enraged at god ?? » linkadge, posted by SLS on February 21, 2005, at 17:17:59
Well supposedly people who are hyper-religious have overactive temporal lobes. Which can perhaps lead to anger as well.
I don't really want answers as much as I do relief. A pastor can come up with all sorts of explainations for suffering, but really can't tell me why God doesn't answer my prayers.
The insist that god exists and can hear me, but are dumbfounded by my suffering. The last one tried to convince me that I had unconfessed sin in my life and this is why God did not help me.Goodness. You take a guilty soul and instead of saying three comforting little words "I don't know". They point the finger back at me.
The thing is that they don't have the answers. They think they do but they don't.
Another thing they do is point me to bible verses where others have suffered. Well in my mind God should've helped those people too. Just because god fails to help biblical characters does not mean its right.
Oh and goodness, another pastor tried to snap me out of my suicidiality by saying: "If you kill yourself, then you'll suffer in hell for eternity"Kind of ironic isn't it that the only thing that keeps me going through the day is the knowledge that I have the right to take my own life any time I choose.
Take away that, and I become completely imobalized. Thats the only straw I have left.
Linkadge
Posted by Dinah on February 22, 2005, at 14:37:56
In reply to Re: Does anyone get psychotically enraged at god ??, posted by linkadge on February 22, 2005, at 14:03:51
Have you read Kushner's "When Bad Things Happen to Good People"?
Posted by Spriggy on February 24, 2005, at 15:33:13
In reply to Re: Does anyone get psychotically enraged at god ?? » linkadge, posted by Dinah on February 22, 2005, at 14:37:56
You know what linkadge, I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from.
My husband is a pastor. I've been a born again Christian for 20 years and I have had the SAME questions and thoughts that you have here recently.
I don't have the answer for you. I don't "get it" or understand it.
Like you, I believe God exists. Actually, I KNOW He does. I know He's there. I know He hears me, I know He sees all that is happening here and has the power to do anything.. but why does He chose to remain silent?
I don't know. It's hard for our human minds to grasp His ways and His plans.
Never in my life have I had to come face to face with everything I "said" I believed in until I've gone through my own suffering.
Suffering does that to you. It basically rocks your whole foundation and belief system.
It's so easy for me to believe that God is good and all powerful when all is well with me... but when the rains have been pouring down and I can't find relief no matter how hard I pray... What then? Where is He then?
I don't have an easy answer. I wish I could console you somehow.... I wish I had a magic bullet answer but I don't.
I'm working through all this myself.
I did just post about my recent journey in the psych unit and the things God did reveal to me while there if you would like to read that. It won't give you the answer your looking for but maybe just knowing you're not alone will bring you some type of comfort.
I am so very, very sorry you have to suffer like this. No man knows the ache of the mind until they've experienced it. I've experienced it. I know the ache.. I know the despair, I know the pit.
All I know to do is to tell you that I will be praying hard for you.
((((HUGS)))))
Posted by AuntieMel on February 26, 2005, at 11:37:36
In reply to Re: Does anyone get psychotically enraged at god ?? » linkadge, posted by Dinah on February 22, 2005, at 14:37:56
I love that book. I gave a copy of it to a very good friend when he found out he had aids.
He later told me it helped him a great deal.
Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2005, at 0:50:08
In reply to Re: wonderful book » Dinah, posted by AuntieMel on February 26, 2005, at 11:37:36
His theology was probably the primary shaper of my own. I study all his books.
This is the end of the thread.
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