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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cmm on October 3, 2000, at 0:12:08
Hi,
I just found this board a few days ago, while searching for information about Celexa. I started Celexa almost 3 weeks ago.
I've wandered through bits and pieces of different threads and although it's all very interesting, it has kind of amplified my main concern about taking an anti-depressant. I wonder sometimes (a lot of the time) if this is something I should actually be doing, if my "bad" feelings are significant enough to warrant chemical intervention, or if I'm just a weak-willed person unable to manage a bad day. That thought has me tied in knots - I'm either taking a step towards correcting some problem my brain has, or I'm dramatising something experienced by everyone into a full blown illness.
I don't doubt that I need some sort of assistance - I've been in therapy on and off for about 8 years - but I don't know if I "deserve" an anti-depressant. There's something in our culture which says the painful way out of a dilemma is the most virtuous, the most courageous - and I don't know if I can escape from that.
And then there's the way I got my prescription. I live in Japan right now and went a doctor while on a vacation home I had seen maybe once or twice, years ago, and she prescribed Celexa just listening to me saying things had been bad. Since I am not sure about my perception of my life, and her diagnosis was based solely on my descriptions, it just accentuates my fear that I'm doing something wrong.
I know this is a long story. I've tried to explain this to the few friends I've told about this, though, but they don't seem to understand. They're lovely and kind and try to be supportive, but it just makes me feel like they're feeding me pablum and not really saying what they think.
Anyway, I guess I hope someone has had a similar conflict when beginning medication, and can offer some sort of rationalization I can grasp. Every morning I take my little pill hoping for the best, but part of me thinks I've given up on myself in resorting to this.
Thanks
Posted by JohnL on October 3, 2000, at 4:45:36
In reply to 1st time taking an anti-depressant, posted by cmm on October 3, 2000, at 0:12:08
cmm,
I think all your feelings and conflicts are true with most of us. But keep in mind, most psychiatric illnesses such as depression or dysthymia (low grade constant depressed state) are results of brain chemical imbalances. They can be easily corrected with medication and your life can be vastly improved. I do know some people who have had success with counseling therapy. Learning how to think and deal with emotions can actually modify the brain chemistry. More often than not though, there are many people who do not benefit from therapy very much until after a medication has had a chance to work. So if therapy has been frustrating, that's not uncommon.Are you depressed? The doctor seemed to think so. But here's something you could do...click on 'Links' at the top of the main page. Then when it gives you a menu, choose 'Internet Mental Health'. Then click on 'Diagnosis'. From there you can follow the instructions. What you will find is an online depression test. You simply answer the multiple choice questions, and then it will give you a final score and diagnosis. It will give you a better picture of where you stand. By itself it isn't a complete diagnosis, but it will indeed provide you a much better idea of whether you are normal, somewhat depressed, severely depressed, or whatever.
In the meantime, give Celexa a chance to work. If after 6 to 8 weeks it has not helped you, then perhaps either you weren't depressed to begin with, or perhaps if you were then you need to try a different medication instead, like Prozac, Zoloft, or Effexor. My local doc has had the most success with Prozac, Effexor 2nd, and then Zoloft or Celexa 3rd. But that's just in one doc's office. It varies dramatically.
Check out the online tests and see how it goes. Take it from there. Hang in there.
John
Posted by cmm on October 3, 2000, at 20:48:36
In reply to Re: 1st time taking an anti-depressant, posted by JohnL on October 3, 2000, at 4:45:36
Thanks alot - I never would have found that on my own (and I never knew there were so many "disorders" - some of it seems to be a bit stretched.
I'm not sure whether this can really be classified as good or not, but in the past couple of days I've felt worse than I have for a while, which makes me think I'm doing the right thing (starting a medication). When I feel OK I think I'm over-reacting, when I feel bad I feel desperate. But I'm sure that's not unusual.
Anyway, thanks alot. The only person I know who has had similar experiences is my mother, and I can't talk to her about my feelings because she takes it to heart too much (i.e., I make her sad by telling her I'm sad). I'm really glad I've found this site, with a lot of experienced opinions.
Thanks
> cmm,
> I think all your feelings and conflicts are true with most of us. But keep in mind, most psychiatric illnesses such as depression or dysthymia (low grade constant depressed state) are results of brain chemical imbalances. They can be easily corrected with medication and your life can be vastly improved. I do know some people who have had success with counseling therapy. Learning how to think and deal with emotions can actually modify the brain chemistry. More often than not though, there are many people who do not benefit from therapy very much until after a medication has had a chance to work. So if therapy has been frustrating, that's not uncommon.
>
> Are you depressed? The doctor seemed to think so. But here's something you could do...click on 'Links' at the top of the main page. Then when it gives you a menu, choose 'Internet Mental Health'. Then click on 'Diagnosis'. From there you can follow the instructions. What you will find is an online depression test. You simply answer the multiple choice questions, and then it will give you a final score and diagnosis. It will give you a better picture of where you stand. By itself it isn't a complete diagnosis, but it will indeed provide you a much better idea of whether you are normal, somewhat depressed, severely depressed, or whatever.
>
> In the meantime, give Celexa a chance to work. If after 6 to 8 weeks it has not helped you, then perhaps either you weren't depressed to begin with, or perhaps if you were then you need to try a different medication instead, like Prozac, Zoloft, or Effexor. My local doc has had the most success with Prozac, Effexor 2nd, and then Zoloft or Celexa 3rd. But that's just in one doc's office. It varies dramatically.
>
> Check out the online tests and see how it goes. Take it from there. Hang in there.
> John
Posted by T~ on October 4, 2000, at 12:53:16
In reply to 1st time taking an anti-depressant, posted by cmm on October 3, 2000, at 0:12:08
hi cmm, i have been taking celexa for about two months now along w/ buspar for anxiety/social phobia. I can honestly say i went thru all that you are going thru now.....accually went off my meds just 2 weeks into this deal and that was the wrong thing to do personally, the depression came back like a flood! after two months on taking these RX's i have excepted the fact that I need help and that doesnt make me or anyone takes meds any weaker. i can honestly say i have NOT told but a handful of friends about my treatment becuase personally w/ my up bringing, any mental illness comes w/ such stigma! BUT i feel almost WHOLE again and will continue on day to day week to week......enjoy life as it has been dealt to me and enjoy the ride!! :) i hope i helped some w/ my babblin'...you are NOT alone (((cnn)))
T~
Posted by cmm on October 4, 2000, at 23:29:08
In reply to Re: 1st time taking an anti-depressant, posted by T~ on October 4, 2000, at 12:53:16
Thanks T. I know I haven't been on it for long enough to see any real results, but I guess I let my pre-existing hesitation get carried away in a couple of days of a bad mood. My "bad" feelings come and go and can be triggered in an instant, and when that happened a few days ago despite the fact that I'm supposed to be "fixing" myself, I got a bit down. But that's one thing which has been nice about this website - there are stories of infinitely worse cycles of ups and downs, switches of meds etc, so I know I'm having it fairly easy. Not even any disturbing side effects, really, with the exception of one bizarre heartbeat incident.
One thing I've been wondering about, though - my doctor said that I should contact her after taking the pill for six weeks and we would evaluate if I was feeling 100% - what on earth is that? I don't mean to say that I never feel happy, because I do, but I assume the goal of all this isn't to turn me into some Gigit-like nightmare. What I want is to feel good and bad and ambivilent and everything else as situations demand, but I don't know how that would be.
Which will just make the next couple of months more interesting, I guess - anxiously waiting for the seratonin faeries to work their magic.
Thanks for your encouragement
> hi cmm, i have been taking celexa for about two months now along w/ buspar for anxiety/social phobia. I can honestly say i went thru all that you are going thru now.....accually went off my meds just 2 weeks into this deal and that was the wrong thing to do personally, the depression came back like a flood! after two months on taking these RX's i have excepted the fact that I need help and that doesnt make me or anyone takes meds any weaker. i can honestly say i have NOT told but a handful of friends about my treatment becuase personally w/ my up bringing, any mental illness comes w/ such stigma! BUT i feel almost WHOLE again and will continue on day to day week to week......enjoy life as it has been dealt to me and enjoy the ride!! :) i hope i helped some w/ my babblin'...you are NOT alone (((cnn)))
> T~
Posted by T~ on October 5, 2000, at 11:00:02
In reply to Re: 1st time taking an anti-depressant » T~, posted by cmm on October 4, 2000, at 23:29:08
> One thing I've been wondering about, though - my doctor said that I should contact her after taking the pill for six weeks and we would evaluate if I was feeling 100% - what on earth is that? I don't mean to say that I never feel happy, because I do, but I assume the goal of all this isn't to turn me into some Gigit-like nightmare. What I want is to feel good and bad and ambivilent and everything else as situations demand, but I don't know how that would be.
>
> Thanks for your encouragement
>
cmm you are welcome for the encouragement and keep your chin up, things get better, really they do. as far as the doctor wanting to see u in 6 weeks to see if you are 100%, well are any of us really 100%?? even those in society that dont take medication?? the doctor did the same re evaluation w/ me but at the time i rated myself at a 75% < grin >
what dose are you taking again and are you just taking celexa??
T~
:-)
Posted by lp on October 5, 2000, at 17:37:07
In reply to Re: 1st time taking an anti-depressant » cmm, posted by T~ on October 5, 2000, at 11:00:02
cmm-
I've never been on this board before but recently started taking wellbutrin and have the exact feelings you do. I was looking for some answers and what you wrote is almost identical to what I was thinking.I too am not sure if I should be on something or not. I feel better just knowing there's someone else out there who has the same feelings that I do. My friends think I am absolutely ridiculous to take anti-depressants. I've never even told my parents, who I am very close with. I have always been a happy, upbeat person and it's hard for them to come to even imagine that I could ever be the slightest bit depressed. My advice to myself is to take it for 6 months and see how things go (I've been on wellbutrin for 1 month now). I don't see anything wrong with attempting to feel better, no matter how "deserving" I am. I may even start taking celexa, who knows.
-lp> > One thing I've been wondering about, though - my doctor said that I should contact her after taking the pill for six weeks and we would evaluate if I was feeling 100% - what on earth is that? I don't mean to say that I never feel happy, because I do, but I assume the goal of all this isn't to turn me into some Gigit-like nightmare. What I want is to feel good and bad and ambivilent and everything else as situations demand, but I don't know how that would be.
> >
> > Thanks for your encouragement
> >
> cmm you are welcome for the encouragement and keep your chin up, things get better, really they do. as far as the doctor wanting to see u in 6 weeks to see if you are 100%, well are any of us really 100%?? even those in society that dont take medication?? the doctor did the same re evaluation w/ me but at the time i rated myself at a 75% < grin >
> what dose are you taking again and are you just taking celexa??
> T~
> :-)
Posted by cmm on October 5, 2000, at 20:22:11
In reply to Re: 1st time taking an anti-depressant, posted by lp on October 5, 2000, at 17:37:07
I haven't told my parents, either - and I happen to be living with my mother at the moment (for better or worse), who has been medicated for depression in the past herself.
I think I've been fortunate in that most people I HAVE told have been supportive - bewildered, I think, but supportive. One friend of mine is almost a doctor (6 more months), and she phrased it this way - if I lost a limb, sure, I could fuction without a prosthesis and maybe do OK, but what's the point if there's a tool which could help me function at my best?
I like that one - the other one I've gotten (which is similar) is that if it were any other disease, I wouldn't reject care and feel like I should just exert a little more willpower and kill that cancer on my own.
Those were my two closest friends - then again, in a moment of weakness, I told someone I shouldn't, and she sort of circuitously said that there are other ways and medication interfere's with nature's plan. Which, naturally, deflated me for a week.
Part of it, too, is that a couple of days after receiving the prescription (in Canada, where I'm from), I came to Japan where I've been living for a couple of years. My doctor said she had no problem treating me in this very distant way, but I'm a bit uncomfortable about the fact that what treatment I'm getting will be by email.
I don't even know if Celexa is legal in Japan (they only approved the birth control pill for general use about a year and a half ago, so it's a distinct possibility).
Anyway, I really like that someone feels the same, too. I guess it's one of those feelings which would be almost impossible to imagine if you didn't have to feel it yourself - the idea of wanting to help yourself while all the while wondering what the action means about your character.
I have a question - have you wondered at all what Wellbutrin may or may not do to your personality? Fear number 546 that comes to me as I wait to fall asleep at night...
take care,
C> cmm-
> I've never been on this board before but recently started taking wellbutrin and have the exact feelings you do. I was looking for some answers and what you wrote is almost identical to what I was thinking.
>
> I too am not sure if I should be on something or not. I feel better just knowing there's someone else out there who has the same feelings that I do. My friends think I am absolutely ridiculous to take anti-depressants. I've never even told my parents, who I am very close with. I have always been a happy, upbeat person and it's hard for them to come to even imagine that I could ever be the slightest bit depressed. My advice to myself is to take it for 6 months and see how things go (I've been on wellbutrin for 1 month now). I don't see anything wrong with attempting to feel better, no matter how "deserving" I am. I may even start taking celexa, who knows.
> -lp
>
> > > One thing I've been wondering about, though - my doctor said that I should contact her after taking the pill for six weeks and we would evaluate if I was feeling 100% - what on earth is that? I don't mean to say that I never feel happy, because I do, but I assume the goal of all this isn't to turn me into some Gigit-like nightmare. What I want is to feel good and bad and ambivilent and everything else as situations demand, but I don't know how that would be.
> > >
> > > Thanks for your encouragement
> > >
> > cmm you are welcome for the encouragement and keep your chin up, things get better, really they do. as far as the doctor wanting to see u in 6 weeks to see if you are 100%, well are any of us really 100%?? even those in society that dont take medication?? the doctor did the same re evaluation w/ me but at the time i rated myself at a 75% < grin >
> > what dose are you taking again and are you just taking celexa??
> > T~
> > :-)
Posted by lp on October 6, 2000, at 9:38:14
In reply to Re: 1st time taking an anti-depressant » lp, posted by cmm on October 5, 2000, at 20:22:11
cmm-
Thanks for writing back.
I don't think Wellbutrin has really affected my personality, at least as far as I can see. My friends haven't noticed anything either, other than the fact that I haven't been AS upset as I used to be.
I guess the real reason I feel so guilty for taking medication is that I started feeling like this after my long-term boyfriend ended our relationship one day, totally out of the blue and moved 3000 miles away. Of course anyone would be devastated by this....people get through these situations all the time without a crutch. However, I know myself well enough to know that while this will eventually pass, it would make me absolutely miserable in the meantime.
Anyway, I'm wondering if there was any single event that threw you into this "funk" (as I call it) or if you've generally been feeling down in the dumps?
And don't feel weird about getting treatment from Canada. Although I may see my doctor, he doesn't ask me anything he couldn't ask me on the phone. In fact, he's only my General Practitioner and has no idea what's going on in my life, other than that I went through a bad break up.
So what do you think? Is it terrible to be doing what I'm doing simply because someone dumped me?! You see now why I'm feeling especially guilty.....
-lp
> I haven't told my parents, either - and I happen to be living with my mother at the moment (for better or worse), who has been medicated for depression in the past herself.
>
> I think I've been fortunate in that most people I HAVE told have been supportive - bewildered, I think, but supportive. One friend of mine is almost a doctor (6 more months), and she phrased it this way - if I lost a limb, sure, I could fuction without a prosthesis and maybe do OK, but what's the point if there's a tool which could help me function at my best?
>
> I like that one - the other one I've gotten (which is similar) is that if it were any other disease, I wouldn't reject care and feel like I should just exert a little more willpower and kill that cancer on my own.
>
> Those were my two closest friends - then again, in a moment of weakness, I told someone I shouldn't, and she sort of circuitously said that there are other ways and medication interfere's with nature's plan. Which, naturally, deflated me for a week.
>
> Part of it, too, is that a couple of days after receiving the prescription (in Canada, where I'm from), I came to Japan where I've been living for a couple of years. My doctor said she had no problem treating me in this very distant way, but I'm a bit uncomfortable about the fact that what treatment I'm getting will be by email.
>
> I don't even know if Celexa is legal in Japan (they only approved the birth control pill for general use about a year and a half ago, so it's a distinct possibility).
>
> Anyway, I really like that someone feels the same, too. I guess it's one of those feelings which would be almost impossible to imagine if you didn't have to feel it yourself - the idea of wanting to help yourself while all the while wondering what the action means about your character.
>
> I have a question - have you wondered at all what Wellbutrin may or may not do to your personality? Fear number 546 that comes to me as I wait to fall asleep at night...
>
> take care,
> C
>
> > cmm-
> > I've never been on this board before but recently started taking wellbutrin and have the exact feelings you do. I was looking for some answers and what you wrote is almost identical to what I was thinking.
> >
> > I too am not sure if I should be on something or not. I feel better just knowing there's someone else out there who has the same feelings that I do. My friends think I am absolutely ridiculous to take anti-depressants. I've never even told my parents, who I am very close with. I have always been a happy, upbeat person and it's hard for them to come to even imagine that I could ever be the slightest bit depressed. My advice to myself is to take it for 6 months and see how things go (I've been on wellbutrin for 1 month now). I don't see anything wrong with attempting to feel better, no matter how "deserving" I am. I may even start taking celexa, who knows.
> > -lp
> >
> > > > One thing I've been wondering about, though - my doctor said that I should contact her after taking the pill for six weeks and we would evaluate if I was feeling 100% - what on earth is that? I don't mean to say that I never feel happy, because I do, but I assume the goal of all this isn't to turn me into some Gigit-like nightmare. What I want is to feel good and bad and ambivilent and everything else as situations demand, but I don't know how that would be.
> > > >
> > > > Thanks for your encouragement
> > > >
> > > cmm you are welcome for the encouragement and keep your chin up, things get better, really they do. as far as the doctor wanting to see u in 6 weeks to see if you are 100%, well are any of us really 100%?? even those in society that dont take medication?? the doctor did the same re evaluation w/ me but at the time i rated myself at a 75% < grin >
> > > what dose are you taking again and are you just taking celexa??
> > > T~
> > > :-)
Posted by Ted on October 6, 2000, at 17:31:15
In reply to Re: 1st time taking an anti-depressant, posted by lp on October 6, 2000, at 9:38:14
lp,
First, don't feel guilty for taking antidepressents: It is because you are DEPRESSED. The cause is immaterial. Now, the deeper cause, a broken relationship, well, people don't necessarily get over it all the time. Those that do are the fortunate ones who are not susceptible to depression. For those of us who are susceptible to depression, such an event can be devastating for a _long time_, even with medication. The same happened to me in 1985 -- a girlfriend dumped me and moved 3000 miles away simply because I refused to impregnate her asap. Even though I have since been married for 13 years and have a family, that one occurance is still painful.
Feeling guilty solves nothing. Remeber: depression is not your fault and it has a biochemical basis. The medication treats the biochemical imbalance. The effect is a reduction in depression.
Ted
> I guess the real reason I feel so guilty for taking medication is that I started feeling like this after my long-term boyfriend ended our relationship one day, totally out of the blue and moved 3000 miles away. Of course anyone would be devastated by this....people get through these situations all the time without a crutch. However, I know myself well enough to know that while this will eventually pass, it would make me absolutely miserable in the meantime.
Posted by pullmarine on October 12, 2000, at 0:20:51
In reply to 1st time taking an anti-depressant, posted by cmm on October 3, 2000, at 0:12:08
> Hi,
> Well. life is hard. it's hard for everyone. I'd recommend avoiding the psychiatric circuits if you can. all these pills have side effects. With celexa, it's mostly the memory that goes. the long term effects are largely unknown and they are all psysically addictive (despite initial industry denials). There are no magic pills or magic therapies. the fact is (and it took me ten years of pills and therapy to get to this conclusion), this is as good as it gets.
> I've wandered through bits and pieces of different threads and although it's all very interesting, it has kind of amplified my main concern about taking an anti-depressant. I wonder sometimes (a lot of the time) if this is something I should actually be doing, if my "bad" feelings are significant enough to warrant chemical intervention, or if I'm just a weak-willed person unable to manage a bad day. That thought has me tied in knots - I'm either taking a step towards correcting some problem my brain has, or I'm dramatising something experienced by everyone into a full blown illness.
>-I don't consider depression as an illness. I see it as a very accurate perception of reality.
> I don't doubt that I need some sort of assistance - I've been in therapy on and off for about 8 years - but I don't know if I "deserve" an anti-depressant. There's something in our culture which says the painful way out of a dilemma is the most virtuous, the most courageous - and I don't know if I can escape from that.
>
You can! There is nothing virtuous about masochism! Try the pill if the pain is too much. if it suits u, mazeltov!
> And then there's the way I got my prescription. I live in Japan right now and went a doctor while on a vacation home I had seen maybe once or twice, years ago, and she prescribed Celexa just listening to me saying things had been bad. Since I am not sure about my perception of my life, and her diagnosis was based solely on my descriptions, it just accentuates my fear that I'm doing something wrong.-No one knows how you feel but you. so ultimatly, your perception is the only one that matters.
>
> I know this is a long story. I've tried to explain this to the few friends I've told about this, though, but they don't seem to understand. They're lovely and kind and try to be supportive, but it just makes me feel like they're feeding me pablum and not really saying what they think.
>
> Anyway, I guess I hope someone has had a similar conflict when beginning medication, and can offer some sort of rationalization I can grasp. Every morning I take my little pill hoping for the best, but part of me thinks I've given up on myself in resorting to this.
>
-Nope! I was extatic to go on medication when it was first offered to me. I've grown very disillusioned about pills over the years
John
This is the end of the thread.
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