Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by susan47 on September 17, 2008, at 0:10:07
How much can a person take? Susan Sontag had a horrible death, an awful dying, no resolution was ever made to the dying, no kindness shown by Death towards the earnestly Living, the afraid of dying, the fear of non-existence so strong it shakes my core to the bone, my bones, my bones ....
Posted by WaterSapphire on September 17, 2008, at 14:55:11
In reply to Existential Angst, posted by susan47 on September 17, 2008, at 0:10:07
((((SUSAN))))
Amazing how the mind works in the throes of emotion and strife.Hope all is ok Susan...
Posted by susan47 on September 19, 2008, at 11:48:59
In reply to Re: Existential Angst, posted by WaterSapphire on September 17, 2008, at 14:55:11
as though there could ever be a logical answer to that question. We are the fortunate species who, if we are truly awake to the dying, if we live Awake, are aware that the Dying will come, and all too soon.
And we are not alone in our realizations.
Which is what makes God, and Jesus, so palpably real and so palpably gone, at the same time.. for if we end, must everything not also end, everyhing? What is the end, what is the darkness, better there should be darkness, sleep, than eternal suffering. Eternal suffering is what living has begun to mean.
I want to love my life.
I want to Love Life.Why do I feel like my life has been taken away, sipped and sucked and dripped out of me little by little, until only an acorn still exists.
I wish the people on Babble were real. I wish I could meet some of these people, people who seem to understand what I'm saying... someone to relate to my angst without allowing it to destroy me.
Posted by susan47 on September 19, 2008, at 12:11:26
In reply to All is Okay? Okay? All right, You Ask?..., posted by susan47 on September 19, 2008, at 11:48:59
and feeling has been my forte all of my life, the one thing I did well ... whether right or wrong as understood by Others, those Others also have feelings which may be judged.
But I cannot help but feel that my "therapy" with Dr. C.W. here in the community in which I live, I cannot help but feel that this experience did me more harm than can be measured, on so many levels I am impacted, and the only way I can get myself out is by getting rid of the anger I feel about my transference. And I will not pay money for a course I wouldn't have the confidence to take, so that suggestion is out the window. My fear of being alone, of dying and not being cared for, transcends all rational thought. This is what I need to get a grip on, to choke down and away and stand trumphantly over it, in three-inch heels and a short skirt, yes and say, I DID IT.
Posted by WaterSapphire on September 19, 2008, at 16:10:54
In reply to And please forgive me, but I cannot help but Feel,, posted by susan47 on September 19, 2008, at 12:11:26
Susan...your fight is just beginning. I can see that here in your writing. But, remember every journey you take will have its ups and downs and even alternate dimensions in a sense. The things that have happened to you, the things you suffer from each day will drain you for sure. So many times we want to give up. So many times we want to be in a much much better place. I believe there is a better place out there beyond the stars Susan. I believe in God. I met my husband online ya know. We have had our ups and downs, but I love him more and more each day. But, I still suffer so much. You are not alone. You are not insignificant. I believe you can conquer this. It is good to make friends with people who can relate to you. Then you don't feel so alone...
HUGS
Chelle
Posted by susan47 on September 22, 2008, at 12:34:43
In reply to SUSAN, posted by WaterSapphire on September 19, 2008, at 16:10:54
And it is so hard to swallow your words, thinking my fight is only beginning. But it's true. I'm just beginning to step out of the emotional slavery I've been in.
This is the end of the thread.
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