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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by susan47 on August 21, 2008, at 15:03:13
This silence, this terrible hole, the blackness of your quiet is so frightening.
Cold.
I am left out in the cold, and the dark, to fend for myself, to find what only I can discover, to mend my life, make it whole, make myself a real human being. No, wait. I am a human being, I am real. I pinch myself and it hurts. Well, hold on a moment now. Hold on, whoa there. It hurts but only on the skin, my brain sends me a message that my skin hurts at that spot. Not the same as a heart that hurts, or a soul that's lost, a spirit broken, please God not forever.
Posted by Toph on August 21, 2008, at 15:26:51
In reply to Unremitting Silence, posted by susan47 on August 21, 2008, at 15:03:13
Yeah, its the loud pain that eventually heals - the crack of a slap, the thud of a punch, the snap of a broken bone. But the dull, quiet pain to which you refer, the psychic pain, seems to linger mercilessly.
Posted by Toph on August 22, 2008, at 8:19:49
In reply to Re: Unremitting Silence, posted by Toph on August 21, 2008, at 15:26:51
> Yeah, its the loud pain that eventually heals - the crack of a slap, the thud of a punch, the snap of a broken bone. But the dull, quiet pain to which you refer, the psychic pain, seems to linger mercilessly.
Of course, repeated loud pain at the hands of parents and partners can lead to the unrelenting quiet pain that is hard to heal.
Posted by WaterSapphire on August 22, 2008, at 12:19:45
In reply to Unremitting Silence, posted by susan47 on August 21, 2008, at 15:03:13
Susan this is soooo true, and so sad. If you are feelin like this (HUGS), If not I am sending you hugs anyways.
Chelle
Posted by susan47 on August 28, 2008, at 14:52:53
In reply to Unremitting Silence, posted by susan47 on August 21, 2008, at 15:03:13
Dear ex-T, dear xs, dear you know who you are, you know who and what and where you are,
and only you know that for sure, you and the person(s) you are with.
O lucky person(s).
You don't even know how lucky you are.
How lucky I wish I were.
How lovestruck I was, how lovelorn I have become, how ill and grey and sad, how old so quickly, so quickly so old, is this only a feeling or is it real, is it real or is it Memorex darling?
Posted by susan47 on September 24, 2008, at 14:06:33
In reply to Re: Unremitting Silence, posted by susan47 on August 28, 2008, at 14:52:53
In the sound of your voice, as you announce in a quaver that you will be unavailable until October the 6th is that right, do I have that right did I remember correctly, did my brain send my heart send my mind send my consciousness the proper message, that you are on holiday my dear man, my dear ex-t how I wish you were still my T, how I wish you could be my therapist but you cannot you will not you cannot believe in me, I am too borderline, Borderline do you hear me, I am too unstable and unable and available only to the darkest realities of where I know not they came, where did they come from I do not know I only know that my mind, my heart, my soul and my very hourglass of life flows slowly away from me the longer you are gone. October the 6th, is that right? I hope you have a lovely time and I hope your life goes well, better than mine, for mine is just the passing of so much wind in the polar atmosphere .... it means less than nothing, this is what I must grapple with.
I loved you so much.
I loved you so much.
Posted by susan47 on September 27, 2008, at 9:38:25
In reply to It Is Real, posted by susan47 on September 24, 2008, at 14:06:33
Your voice is so near, no distraction, no music to get lost in, playing in the background, near yet so far.. you are no farther than you ever were, from me. You were always unavailable, on another planet, and I loved the planet you were on, the same planet my parents inhabit, and people I know, friends and relations, inhabit this planet of Sanity, and I want some of that planet, and I cannot have it, I cannot have it.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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