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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by susan47 on June 28, 2007, at 19:53:22
That does it, I'm officially dying.
And I'm crazy, I'm obviously crazy as a loon and so maybe that's not a bad thing. It's not the end of the world for others to be so awful, but it is the end of everything for me to be so awful. I've been a disgusting human being, a pig, someone you could spit on if you would only have the chance.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to have had to have this happen .. how could I be so unbelievably Ill in my mind? I don't get it. I don't get it. I love as much if not more than a lot of people, I cry for other people more than myself, and I don't cry for me that much anymore. But I'm a horrible person because I get stuck in these ways of Being which are just awful, just horrible, they make the people I feel I need to be around want to cut me up into little pieces and chuck me in the garbage ... I've seen so many T's over this I can't stand it anymore, I can't stand it at All, and I'm through with the World as it is. I'm officially hereby dead to the world, your offical Crazy Woman. Dr. X you can have your hate and your sanity. Omigod, the thought that I frighten doctors is absolutely weird, you know, it's frightening in itself, and I can't stand it absolutely I am f*cking finished with everything. I love my children, I love my friends, I love a lot of things and now this Life is Mine.
F*ck you.
Posted by susan47 on June 29, 2007, at 10:52:44
In reply to God, posted by susan47 on June 28, 2007, at 19:53:22
do with god or God or goD or anything else but yourself, susan, and you know it. You are the center of your tiny little universe, you and imaginary Dr. X ... only he wasn't a doctor, he was your secret lover, your muse, your guide .. your friend and the person you could count on to be there, in your mind, your teeny tiny little mind which did nothing but muse over and around and under the dear little drx, Dr.X, Dx, my Dx, my diagnosis and my cure .. my illness, my disease, my dis-ease, my dis-Ease, my unease with all of this b*llshit which has been my life, my f*cking little mucking little musing life ... f*ck me.
Posted by Sigismund on June 29, 2007, at 15:40:48
In reply to Oh, B*llshit. God, my *ss. That had nothing to, posted by susan47 on June 29, 2007, at 10:52:44
Hello Susan
If I was a fairy godmotherI would put you on a plane and land you in (why not?) Bolivia, and from there you could make your way home along the Andes or down the Amazon basin, and by the time you'd got home you would feel better about your doctor.
Declan
Posted by susan47 on June 29, 2007, at 19:52:52
In reply to Re: Oh, B*llshit. God, my *ss. That had nothing » susan47, posted by Sigismund on June 29, 2007, at 15:40:48
I would feel better about myself, to Hell with the good Doctor.
Doctor X. Hah. Dr. B*llshit.
Posted by susan47 on June 29, 2007, at 19:55:54
In reply to Re: Oh, B*llshit. God, my *ss. That had nothing » susan47, posted by Sigismund on June 29, 2007, at 15:40:48
> Hello Susan
> If I was a fairy godmotherI would put you on a plane and land you in (why not?) Bolivia, and from there you could make your way home along the Andes or down the Amazon basin, and by the time you'd got home you would feel better about your doctor.
> DeclanYES, that sounds so wonderful. Provided it's not all dammed up, as they're doing to all the great rivers of the world in a bid for electric power. I'd like to just feel better about myself really, you know? I'm sure the good doctor doesn't give two f*cks how I feel, why in hell would I care a f*ck about him?
Why the hell would I give a damn about some a**hole who couldn't care whether I were alive or dead, who claims to care about people?
I don't.
I don't care.
The good Dr. can go f*ck himself.
Posted by susan47 on June 29, 2007, at 20:05:39
In reply to Re: Oh, B*llshit. God, my *ss. That had nothing » Sigismund, posted by susan47 on June 29, 2007, at 19:55:54
really, that was the wrong thing to say. Millions of people living below poverty level without electricity, that's what it is. While there's all this wealth in the world and natural energy in many forms that we could so easily, so Easily my God if we would only just be generous and honest and fair and unselfish, altruistic with the needs and requirements of all living things .. but NO, oh no. It's all relative. All of it. Everything is f*cking relative, baby. Some have it and some don't, and that's just the way the selfish human race is. Which I'm ashamed to be part of but at the same time the potential is so enormous .. Enormous. I feel manic with the relief of being able to say that this society and so much in it is making mankind sink to his lowest levels yet ... So much grotesqueness hasn't been seen here since the Inquisition .. and we all think we're so civilized. We're all so nice. Just take a look in the DSM-IV whatever .. just look at all the different ways you get to call your neighbour crazy .. or your wife, or your husband, or your lawyer, or your friend .. people are terrible to each other.
That's why I prefer plants. Plants will not hurt you, and they're gentle and kind and their voices are natural, sweet, and pure.
Posted by Sigismund on June 30, 2007, at 20:49:44
In reply to Re: Oh, B*llshit. God, my *ss. That had nothing » Sigismund, posted by susan47 on June 29, 2007, at 19:55:54
>Why the hell would I give a damn about some a**hole who couldn't care whether I were alive or dead, who claims to care about people
It doesn't seem to stop us.
[Was your doctor hot? (Paris Hilton moment)]
Posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2007, at 20:37:33
In reply to Re: Oh, B*llshit. God, my *ss. That had nothing » susan47, posted by Sigismund on June 30, 2007, at 20:49:44
Posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2007, at 20:43:30
In reply to Re: Oh, B*llshit. God, my *ss. That had nothing » susan47, posted by Sigismund on June 30, 2007, at 20:49:44
Actually his being Hot was probably a problem for him anyway and he dressed down a fair bit at times .. if drab brown jackets and baggy corduroys are dressing down .. I have seen a lot of docs dress much much worse than Dr. X though; on his worst days some of them wouldn't look half as good, or half as vulnerable and sweet, or exciting to me anyway. It does sound obsessive but I know it isn't unusual to feel those types of things about someone when you see them with love. Ah, well. Love and hate are closely linked and one will drive a person crazy, acting stupid and silly. The other can do the same .. the trick is too keep my mind and remember I have a lot of good qualities too. What I don't understand is why I keep comparing him to myself.
Posted by fayeroe on July 6, 2007, at 21:20:25
In reply to Hot Dx, posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2007, at 20:43:30
> Actually his being Hot was probably a problem for him anyway and he dressed down a fair bit at times .. if drab brown jackets and baggy corduroys are dressing down .. I have seen a lot of docs dress much much worse than Dr. X though; on his worst days some of them wouldn't look half as good, or half as vulnerable and sweet, or exciting to me anyway. It does sound obsessive but I know it isn't unusual to feel those types of things about someone when you see them with love. Ah, well. Love and hate are closely linked and one will drive a person crazy, acting stupid and silly. The other can do the same .. the trick is too keep my mind and remember I have a lot of good qualities too. What I don't understand is why I keep comparing him to myself.
**************************************************my Pdoc is unbearably, painfully and wonderfully hot. i lust over his green eyes and black curly hair.
he also dresses down. sometimes i think his pants will fall off....corduroy. i wonder if when you graduate from Pschool, they hand you ten pairs of corduroy pants and say "bless you, son"? "go forth and be hot and do great things"....
i'm also fascinated with his shoes. loafers. i've always loved that a style of shoes is called "loafers"......
i may ask Paris Hilton about all of this "hotness" with Pdocs........xoxoxo fayeroe
Posted by Susan47 on July 7, 2007, at 19:44:20
In reply to Re: Hot Dx » Susan47, posted by fayeroe on July 6, 2007, at 21:20:25
Perhaps they also hand out blah brown jackets, or perhaps their missus shops and deliberately dresses the Dear Hubby down. 'Cause of course, she would know now, wouldn't she. She has Experience. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Wow.
Posted by temoigneur on September 25, 2007, at 2:03:27
In reply to God, posted by susan47 on June 28, 2007, at 19:53:22
Susan I can relate in some way I guess to the miserable abyss where for no choice of mine I'm trapped with a disposition that makes me snap at my best friends... and curse those I love... despite... and often in inverse porportion to how good my intentions are.. This encouraged me... I pharaphrased it
Nice People or New Men?
If you have sound nerves and intelligence and health and popularity and a good upbringing, you are likely to be quite satisfied with your character as it is. 'Why drag God into it?' you may ask. A certain level of good conduct comes fairly easily to you. You are not one of those wretched creatures who are always being tripped lip by sex, or dipsomania, or nervousness, or bad temper. Everyone says you are a nice chap and (between ourselves) you agree with them. You are quite likely to believe that all this niceness is your own doing: and you may easily not feel the need for any better kind of goodness. Often people who have all these natural kinds of goodness cannot be brought to recognize their need for God at all until, one day, the natural goodness lets them down and their self-satisfaction is shattered. In other words, it is hard for those who are 'rich' in this sense to enter the Kingdom.
It is very different for the nasty people--the little, low, timid, warped, thin-blooded, lonely people, or the passionate, sensual, unbalanced people. If they make any attempt at goodness at all, they learn, in double quick time, that they need help. It is that higher power or nothing for them. They are the lost sheep; He came specially to find them. They are (in one very real and terrible sense) the 'poor': He blessed them. They are the 'awful set' He goes about with--and of course the 'rich' say still, as they said from the first, 'If there were anything in Religion those people would not be welcome.'
There is either a warning or an encouragement here for every one of us. If you are a nice person--if virtue comes easily to you--beware! Much is expected from those to whom much is given. If you mistake for your own merits what are really God's gifts to you through nature, and if you are contented with simply being nice, you are still a rebel: and all those gifts will only make your fall more terrible, your corruption more complicated, your bad example more disastrous. The Devil was an archangel once; his natural gifts were as far above yours as yours are above those of a chimpanzee.
But if you are a poor creature--poisoned by a wretched upbringing in some house full of vulgar jealousies and senseless quarrels--saddled, by no choice of your own, with some loathsome sexual perversion--nagged day in and day out by an inferiority complex that makes you snap at your best friends--do not despair. He knows all about it. You are one of the poor whom He blessed. He knows what a wretched machine you are trying to drive. Keep on. Do what you can. One day (perhaps in another world, but perhaps far sooner than that) He will fling it on the scrap-heap and give you a new one. And then you may astonish us all--not least yourself: for you have learned your driving in a hard school. (Some of the last will be first and some of the first will be last). (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity pp214-215).
This is the end of the thread.
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