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God

Posted by susan47 on June 28, 2007, at 19:53:22

That does it, I'm officially dying.
And I'm crazy, I'm obviously crazy as a loon and so maybe that's not a bad thing. It's not the end of the world for others to be so awful, but it is the end of everything for me to be so awful. I've been a disgusting human being, a pig, someone you could spit on if you would only have the chance.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to have had to have this happen .. how could I be so unbelievably Ill in my mind? I don't get it. I don't get it. I love as much if not more than a lot of people, I cry for other people more than myself, and I don't cry for me that much anymore. But I'm a horrible person because I get stuck in these ways of Being which are just awful, just horrible, they make the people I feel I need to be around want to cut me up into little pieces and chuck me in the garbage ... I've seen so many T's over this I can't stand it anymore, I can't stand it at All, and I'm through with the World as it is. I'm officially hereby dead to the world, your offical Crazy Woman. Dr. X you can have your hate and your sanity. Omigod, the thought that I frighten doctors is absolutely weird, you know, it's frightening in itself, and I can't stand it absolutely I am f*cking finished with everything. I love my children, I love my friends, I love a lot of things and now this Life is Mine.
F*ck you.


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poster:susan47 thread:766542
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20070425/msgs/766542.html