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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Daisym on March 4, 2006, at 22:16:13
Elephant Ears
“Don’t tell,” he hisses as he leaves each night.
She nods, just barely, frozen with fright.
She knows and agrees, that telling is wrong.
She’ll keep his secret, her whole life long.But her tears whisper words into elephant ears.
She pours out her pain, and her rage and her fears.
That poor elephant suffers, crushed tight to her chest;
Wet from the weeping, yet still comforting best.Her elephant hears and holds it all in,
And keeps vigil each time it happens again.
And doesn’t flinch at the words, it’s not too much to hear,
There’s nothing too horrible for an elephant ear.Not the scary descriptions of his fingers that probe,
Or how her face burns as he has her disrobe.
Or how she holds perfectly still, as he pumps up and down
and later bleeds all alone, not making a sound.So many silent whispered wishes, so much hurt and so much pain
She pours all over Daisy, who shares her secret stain.
But this elephant is magic, she never leaves and she won’t tell,
She gently soothes the broken soul and weaves a healing spell.
Posted by Tanzanite on March 4, 2006, at 23:16:06
In reply to Ode To a Stuffed Animal (trigger), posted by Daisym on March 4, 2006, at 22:16:13
OMG-Daisy ((((Daisy))). This just broke my heart but at the same time told so much, so eloquent and so deeply expressive. Brought tears to my eyes. If you went through this, or if you didn't either way I say I am so proud of you for writing this. I now am speechless. Peace and Blessings
Tanzanite
Posted by Tanzanite on March 4, 2006, at 23:18:33
In reply to Re: DaisyM, posted by Tanzanite on March 4, 2006, at 23:16:06
I reread your poem, And I figured it was you who went through this as a child. I hope you have some peace now but no matter what you are in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings
Tanzanite
Posted by B2chica on March 6, 2006, at 11:21:39
In reply to Ode To a Stuffed Animal (trigger), posted by Daisym on March 4, 2006, at 22:16:13
(((((daisy))))))
i'm very proud to know a person of such strength as you. you are very wise and am amazed with your words. it was beautiful.
i understand these elephant ears
i only wish you hadn't have seen
or heard those sounds
or smelled those smells.
i only wish your pain was mine
i understand these elephant ears.my kitty was red and pink and white
with oversized ears and now i know why
it too held my tears,
to soften the pain and keep my fears.
soon it was withered, it was thrown away
i was never told how i was never told why
i never got to say goodbye.
i think i figured it had heard enough.
it's body was soft but ears were rough.
i think i figured it had heard enough.
Posted by 10derHeart on March 6, 2006, at 21:22:57
In reply to Re: Ode To a Stuffed Animal (trigger) » Daisym, posted by B2chica on March 6, 2006, at 11:21:39
There's nothing really, to be said.
My chest hurts now and I'm holding my breath.
:-(
(((little daisy))) (((little b2)))
Posted by James K on March 7, 2006, at 0:27:29
In reply to ((((Daisy)))) ((((((B2))))), posted by 10derHeart on March 6, 2006, at 21:22:57
I had tears.
James K
Posted by Daisym on March 7, 2006, at 0:49:50
In reply to Re: DaisyM, posted by Tanzanite on March 4, 2006, at 23:16:06
Thank you for saying you liked it. It feels so dark but it is what I'm writing these days.
And yes, it was me. And I still have "Daisy" the elephant. And she is still magic. Thanks for the blessing. I can always use those!
Daisy
Posted by Daisym on March 7, 2006, at 1:01:18
In reply to Re: Ode To a Stuffed Animal (trigger) » Daisym, posted by B2chica on March 6, 2006, at 11:21:39
(((B2)))
I wish you still had your kitty. I'd be devasted without my elephant. Even my kids know to be gentle with her, she is so old. I took her to therapy once and my therapist held her so gently.
I showed him this poem today. I told him he had helped me finish it because he was the one who said my elephant was magic, she could weave a web of safety for me. He liked the poem but said it was really disturbing and twisted. The title misleads, the rhythm and rhyme waltz but the words jar. He tried to find the right word, like incongruous, but ended up saying it just made his stomach hurt. I nodded and said isn't that exactly what all this is -- twisted? Incest is essentially a childlike poem warped with adult concepts. He nodded and told me to keep writing. And to keep sharing. I'm glad I can do that here.
I love your addition. Thank you for that. I'm sorry you understand so well.
Posted by Daisym on March 7, 2006, at 1:03:16
In reply to ((((Daisy)))) ((((((B2))))), posted by 10derHeart on March 6, 2006, at 21:22:57
Breathe out, slowly. Remember the thing we fear most has already happened. (Annie Rogers)
Now we all just need to hang on to each other and heal. I hope I didn't upset you.
Posted by Daisym on March 7, 2006, at 1:05:14
In reply to Re: ((((Daisy)))) ((((((B2))))), posted by James K on March 7, 2006, at 0:27:29
Tears can be a good thing. Want to borrow my elephant to hold for a little while? She makes an excellent towel.
It is nice to be understood.
Hugs, Daisy
Posted by Tanzanite on March 7, 2006, at 2:23:16
In reply to Re: DaisyM » Tanzanite, posted by Daisym on March 7, 2006, at 0:49:50
I am a musician at heart and sing my heart out how I feel whether it be dark or not. I admire that you were able to express yourself so well and I thought it was very well written and well cathartic in it's own right. Dark, but yet still glimmers of hope and writing yes could bring one to tears. It also makes you think, even though I haven't gone through what you have. I truly haven't seen something written so powerfully, in my entire life. I think what you wrote, even though deeply personal to you, is like a flag for all those who have suffered what you have gone through and the hurt inner child that comes out shows. I am so glad you still have your magical elephant. I am proud of you Daisy.
Tanzanite
Posted by Jai Narayan on March 8, 2006, at 22:48:34
In reply to Ode To a Stuffed Animal (trigger), posted by Daisym on March 4, 2006, at 22:16:13
> Elephant Ears
>
> “Don’t tell,” he hisses as he leaves each night.
> She nods, just barely, frozen with fright.
> She knows and agrees, that telling is wrong.
> She’ll keep his secret, her whole life long.
>
> But her tears whisper words into elephant ears.
> She pours out her pain, and her rage and her fears.
> That poor elephant suffers, crushed tight to her chest;
> Wet from the weeping, yet still comforting best.
>
> Her elephant hears and holds it all in,
> And keeps vigil each time it happens again.
> And doesn’t flinch at the words, it’s not too much to hear,
> There’s nothing too horrible for an elephant ear.
>
> Not the scary descriptions of his fingers that probe,
> Or how her face burns as he has her disrobe.
> Or how she holds perfectly still, as he pumps up and down
> and later bleeds all alone, not making a sound.
>
> So many silent whispered wishes, so much hurt and so much pain
> She pours all over Daisy, who shares her secret stain.
> But this elephant is magic, she never leaves and she won’t tell,
> She gently soothes the broken soul and weaves a healing spell.
>you are such a great writer.
I trust you are doing well.
thanks for the insight.
I too share your experience.
Ja*
Posted by 10derHeart on March 9, 2006, at 10:27:01
In reply to Re: ((((Daisy)))) ((((((B2))))) » 10derHeart, posted by Daisym on March 7, 2006, at 1:03:16
I hope I didn't upset you. <<
No need to try to take care of me, 'specially not on this board :-) (I know it comes naturally to you, like a reflex, and that's so kind, but unecessary.) You posted 'trigger' in your subject and I read anyway. Because it was you, and I care about what you post on any board.
You know....when such painful experiences like these are confided, shared...I da*n sure hope they upset me and everyone. The day writing like that doesn't upset me....well, I don't ever want that day to come. But Daisy (and I know you already know this) *you* didn't upset me - *it* did. Not because it's a personal trigger, in that I have no csa in my own past, but I have friends who do and I see them suffer still.
More broadly than that, it's about children. I adore them. I treasure them. They transfix me with their innocence and sweetness. Their mere presence around me in the past 2-3 years when I was seriously depressed and wanting to give up actually saved me, lifted me out of the pit more than once. I can hardly describe with mere words what the hug of a child does for my heart and spirit.
I think I'd do about anything to protect a child from physical, sexual, emotional harm if I possibly could. So, yes it upsets me on many levels. If only, if only I could erase it all, time travel back and make this abuse never happen to you...
God bless you for having the courage and trust in Babblers to post about it here. You are one beautiful and amazing soul.
Posted by Daisym on March 13, 2006, at 0:26:58
In reply to Re: Ode To a Stuffed Animal (trigger), posted by Jai Narayan on March 8, 2006, at 22:48:34
I'm sorry I haven't been back over here for a little while. For some reason I find this one of the hardest boards to read. I guess because everything is so profound.
I wish this wasn't your experience. But thank you for saying you liked it. I wish I could show it to my mother.
Posted by Daisym on March 13, 2006, at 0:32:59
In reply to Re: ((((Daisy) (((B2)))*trigger* » Daisym, posted by 10derHeart on March 9, 2006, at 10:27:01
I don't know how to not take care of people...didn't you know it was in my life-job description?!
Something silly but it says a lot -- I didn't realize until just a year or so ago that I'm trying to save as many children as possible. I had so many other reasons for doing the work I do, for starting an agency and being a political advocate. The fact that I need to save them (me) never occurred to me. Can you say "denial?"
I wish I had known someone like you when I was little. I think it felt like all grownups thought kids were annoying. Things might have been different. The kids in your life are very lucky.
Hugs.
This is the end of the thread.
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