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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on December 29, 2005, at 17:00:31
The pain would always be there,
there would be no future,
our kids would be damaged,
our whole family life would be ruined,
and there would be no place to go, nothing to hope for ....
Ram Dass's letter was like a catalyst ...This man knows how to write. The pen is mightier ... if given half a chance. ..I cannot assuage your pain with any words, nor should I ... for your pain if his legacy to you, not that he would inflict such pain by choice, but there you are .. and you must allow this flame to burn to completion....
Now is the time to let your grief find expression.How to make something good, out of something bad?
Posted by Susan47 on January 1, 2006, at 15:47:12
In reply to no subject, posted by Susan47 on December 29, 2005, at 17:00:31
There are no Men.
But Women, yes.
Women, there are.
Women with more courage
than any man could ever hope for.
Why do you see so blindly?
How can you? Where does this bring you?
For what purpose?
What is the Greater Good of Mankind?
Does it matter?
Yesterday Sudanese refugees were beaten, shot and killed
Because they wanted a future.
They had hope .. but they haven't seen as much beauty in life,
as you have.
Some of them, the small children,
have seen nothing good, nothing beautiful.
They have been raised and had been,
a part of pain.
Great suffering.
Where did their hope come from?
You. It comes from Your Life.
It is the beauty you see around you every day.
But you are so blind.
So terribly blind, to your luck.
To the life you could be living.
The life I imagine, the one I hope to have.
Every moment brings us hope, and don't forget, don't be so stupid
as to forget, that it is paid for with blood.
Not yours, though.
Not ever yours.
Posted by Susan47 on January 12, 2006, at 11:25:20
In reply to Re: no subject, posted by Susan47 on January 1, 2006, at 15:47:12
That some of the stuff I've written, could be seen as threatening if a person were in that sort of mindset. And I forgot who I was dealing with, who I'm not dealing with anymore. I forgot. I forgot the possible political connections, the private schoolboy mentality, the "I can do no wrong" attitude he is infused with. I forgot. And I suddenly realized, in remembering who he really is, how much trouble he is going to get me into. Because I really put myself there, I really did. I behaved completely sick. And that's the only way this will ever be seen. I think we're coming to a close. And this fool thinks I want to hurt him somehow, and it's even in the simple act of calling him a "fool" and referring to him and then even having the audacity of TELLING him I did that .. and he said at the time, he said it was okay, he said he had no ill feelings towards me and I had nothing to fear from him.
And it was an honest feeling, at the time. Somehow, I twisted that feeling with my insistence on not being ignored, on needing this to be made right by him, this thing that he made wrong. And now, because I didn't know any better than to act out the third-grade place I was stuck in emotionally, I'm in Big Trouble. Like, life-changing trouble. And all I want to do is say, I Knew This, because I somehow made it from sometime before I even remember. And this person was like poison for me, and because of that I couldn't keep away, I felt like I needed him to exist. Because I never really deserved better than poison.
Or something like that, but I have a feeling I might have a lot of time to work it out, in the future
Posted by Susan47 on January 20, 2006, at 3:39:18
In reply to I Just Realized, posted by Susan47 on January 12, 2006, at 11:25:20
Well, I just re-read this thread and I'm shocked at how things sound so threatening and weird when they're read a different way. I wonder .. I wonder .. you know, I think out loud, and people are kind enough not to post behind me and go, oh Susan you weird girl, where are you getting all these strange words you string together? And the fact is, I just love putting words together. Sometimes they sound all right, and other times they sound all wrong, like a black thundercloud coming down the horizon .. see, that makes no sense, those words up there just strung together, I mean, how can something come down a horizon? And if I hadn't referred to a horizon, what would you have thought I was talking about? Language can be fun, but when someone feels threatened, you can't make it better for them, you just can't. Only their own head can put things right again. People have to learn to control their thoughts. Writing boards are for writing. For writing, only. Why do I feel so threatened? Leave me alone. Leave me alone. I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask for any of it. Why can't you be kind?
This is the end of the thread.
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