Shown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on June 30, 2005, at 0:56:09
Again.
Like they do everyday.
Around half-past three.
What a funny world this is.
Where today is yesterday
And this morning is last night
And winter means summer
And red means conservative
And blue means liberal.
And democracy means...Silence:
Niggling
Nagging
Pulling
Trying to catch me in the undertow
Suck me down.
and im not writing im raving
but so be it.Hmmm.
Hrrrrmmmmm.Night night Babblers
See you yesterday.
Posted by alexandra_k on June 30, 2005, at 1:08:51
In reply to And the Babblers have gone to bed, posted by alexandra_k on June 30, 2005, at 0:56:09
Or...
See you today tomorrow.
Or...
Whatever.
This is wearing thin.The native trees still wear their leaves
They know the ground does not freeze.
The introduced species are slow to catch on.
Its green because it rains all the time.
Its green because the soil is peat.
Sh*t.
I live in a swamp made of sh*t that has been drained into a stagnant lake.
Charming.
Charming.
But you should see sh*t grow.
Die.
Become more sh*t to make more sh*t grow.
Hmm.The fog comes up from the river
And spreads throughout the city
It doesn't disperse much throughout the day.
It is cold.
Not so cold.
The ground doesn't freeze.
But nothing can stop the fog
Insideous
Malevolent
Carrying spores
Into your houses
Into your offices
Into your orifices
Some fungus or other
The wet
The damp
The cold
The swamp trying to reclaim you.
But its not that cold.
Not cold enough for double glazed windows.
Not cold enough for central heating.
Not cold enough for people to turn the bloody heating up.
Just cold enough to throw more clothes on.
It is a NZ thing
A NZ thing apparantly
To dress up INSIDE the house.
On a clear spring day it is warmer outside than in.
Insane.
Bloody insane.
Build the nuclear power plant
Ho!
The swamp trying to reclaim you.
me.
The university.
Arts and Social Sciences in particular
Hrm.
There aren't going to be any redundancies.
The big guy said.
I did not have sex with that woman
My committee didn't decide there would be forced redundancies.
Yeah right.The swamp.
Its coming to claim us all...
Posted by alexandra_k on June 30, 2005, at 3:51:47
In reply to And the Babblers have gone to bed, posted by alexandra_k on June 30, 2005, at 0:56:09
I think the bad feelings are coming back.
I'd call it depression but I'm not sure thats it.
I dunno anymore
I dunno.
This past week has been hard.
Yeah I got my period but its finished now and I don't feel any better.
Hopelessness.
Thats it.
Hopelessness.
Lets try and get it out so I can get some sleep...
Nope. Theres not a lot to say.
I'll try and see t tomorrow.
Please have an opening please.
She probably won't.
I'll be okay.
I can be patient.
I can wait till Tuesday.What is to become of me?
I feel very afraid and very very small.
And there is a stress
A list of things to do
A list of things that I was supposed to be making progress on this week
That I haven't been doing.I think I need a holiday.
But then what have I been doing?
I think I need a change in scenery
But theres nowhere to go.
I don't want to sink...
I'm really afraid of it.
I think I am depressed.
Feel sad
No energy
No motivation
No enjoyment
Get caught in repetitive gestures
Building the same city
According to the same plan
Over
and
Over
and
Over
With no enjoyment
Just a kind of compulsion.
Dull
Flat
Unprofitable
I wonder if she will give me a hug.
Posted by Damos on June 30, 2005, at 4:50:39
In reply to Re: And the Babblers have gone to bed, posted by alexandra_k on June 30, 2005, at 3:51:47
Here's just a little one from me to tide you over. Gosh I wish you were here so much, so you just curl up on the lounge or a bed with puppy and she'd do dog magic on you and you'd feel better I just know it.
Text me if you want to talk okay - no matter how late.
This is the end of the thread.
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